Today, the day that was designated "Wear Purple for Tolerance" day.
As pretty much everyone who has met me knows, I am a former Jehovah's Witness. My parents are still, and so are my two bio brothers.
I spent two years in therapy to learn to accept that my parents will never truly love me unconditionally. I wasn't allowed to attend either of my brother's weddings. I don't have what most people consider a "normal" relationship with my bio family.
Instead, I have my family-by-choice. Parents, brothers, a sister. I've built an awesome circle of friends, who treat me far better than my bio family does.
I've also been a member of an Ex-JW Recovery forum on Yuku. This community has been an absolute savior for many, including myself. It's a place we can go and vent about the crap we deal with because of that fucked up religious cult and everyone KNOWS what we're going through. Because if you haven't been through it, you really don't know.
Several days ago, someone posted about the gentleman who took a very unusual path to dealing with the pain of loosing his religion. The same religion I left.
This was the article posted. About Richard Ivey III, who found inner peace by hanging from six hooks from a tree for four hours.
Now most everyone on this forum is atheist/spiritual, and very accepting of others choices/beliefs/lack of beliefs, but a couple of those that commented on this post mentioned how it looked like he was on the 'wrong path', that hopefully he wouldn't continue down this 'wrong path'.
So two days ago I stepped up on my soapbox.
I asked WHY it was the 'wrong path' for him to take? Who are they to judge him? Many people who had normal childhoods are into pain, tattoos, and bdsm. Just because it's outside of what is considered mainstream, people who are into this tend to hide it from the outside world. Because it's not acceptable, it's not 'normal'.
It's because of things said like this that there have been 5 suicides in the LGBTQ community. Because someone says something judgmental and kids hear this, and it tells them that they're not worthy, they're not acceptable, there is something 'wrong' with them for feeling this way or for liking certain things (like pain). It's not like we haven't had enough judging from the fucking religion we all have in common.
Stop the cycle of judgment.
That's a paraphrasing of what I posted. I used the word fuck exactly twice, and not once did I verbally attack a person. Their words, yes. That's the major rule on our forum, never do personal attacks. I triple checked my post to make sure there were no personal attacks. Because I was really angry when I wrote it. Because 5 teenagers have TAKEN THEIR LIVES because of shit like this.
Yesterday evening, a full day after I had posted, and after logging in several times during the day yesterday, I tried to log on, and discovered that I was banned, and I have no access to the forum anymore. Today I discovered that the guy that runs the board has unfriended me on Facebook.
I was given no warning, there was no email telling me I had been banned, either for 48 hours (as is common for first offenders) or permanently.
So I contacted the co-admin. She finally got an answer from the main admin who runs the site, who said, yes, he was aware that I had been banned, there was no mistake, and he wasn't going to talk about it. She went to look for the offending post, and it is no longer on the forum, not even in the locked thread part that no one sees. It's just gone. Vanished. Like it never existed.
I still don't know if the ban is permanent or not.
The irony of being kicked off the forum that's a haven for escapees of one of the most judgmental religions for telling people to be less judgmental has not escaped me.
But for it to happen on today was extremely painful.
Today was "Wear Purple" day, to stand up against intolerance, to stand up for unity despite differences.
Today I bleed from a cut I was not expecting. A cut given to me by a place that has been a refuge from intolerance.
I guess it's not anymore.