Thursday, November 1, 2007

Failure.

Well, I feel like a complete failure as a parent now.

I just had my very first Parent/Teacher conference with Matthew's preschool teacher.

He doesn't listen. He doesn't follow instructions. He counts constantly. When he's not counting, he's making a weird noise. The other kids get irritated with him because he is a constant disruption for their activities. He whines a lot. The teacher has to stop class to have a discussion with the children about how everyone is different, and we shouldn't be mean to them.

He spit on two other kids this last Tuesday, instead of telling the teacher what they had done to him. (We don't know what they did to him, but he said something about his back being hurt.)

I have never been a parent before, and days like today make me feel like Matthew is getting the short end of the stick because he's my 'tester' child.

Did I mention that Josie has an ear infection? Yeah, she's been screaming since Sunday, I finally figured out that she had a fever Monday night (cause she cries, oh, 50% of the time anyway), took her to the doctor on Tuesday, and yesterday she broke out in hives (an allergic reaction to the antibiotic). So now we're on new medicine AND Benedryl. And she's still cranky.

And someone who's been ignoring/avoiding me for the last week randomly sent me a txt msg last night around 2:30 AM. Like I have time for someone to try and piss me off. Seriously.

edited to add: My therapist ROCKS. *off to surf up some info on separation anxiety*

Have I ever mentioned how being a parent is the hardest thing I've ever done?

7 comments:

Spyder said...

(((((hugs)))))) right back at ya! You have to be brave to be a parent. I'm not that brave!

Kristina said...

I'm sorry! That really sucks! I hope things start to go better soon!

Fate said...

Checking my blogs on my lunch...

I didn't hear the conversation, but I will say: you have to realize, that pre-K and K classes are something of organized chaos anyway. Doing this as part of my teaching degree, I realized it's something like being a zoo-keeper to a bunch of monkeys. The only difference is they don't (usually) throw shit at each other.

I am moderately concerned that you did not leave with a more positive impression from the meeting. These are supposed to be about progress, not discipline issues. That says I was reading more into this than I should, or the teacher wasn't being very professional in doing the meeting.

Note: it's possible to act and sound professional and not be.

Realize that _EVERY_ child in a pre-K class is a disturbance - and if a child isn't - then there is something wrong.

Learning to socialize, especially for children of Nerds, will take time. :)

Faith said...

Is it bad that the first thing I thought of after I finished reading this post was, "Man, they ALL need a drink!" And I'm serious.

*I* would be a bad parent, sista. You? Are just workin' your way through it.

I like the stuff that fate said. Sounds like someone that knows their shit. :)

Janet said...

I came away from the conference with the impression that she wants me to take him to the doctor and get him on drugs so he's not a disturbance to her.

However. Today at MY doctor's appt, she asked me if we had ever had him screened for autism. He exhibits all the same signs that HER son did when he was young, and he had a mild form of autism that was modified with behavior therapy, not drugs. But it was really stressful integrating him into school the first year or two.

I'm really and truly irritated that he's been doing this since SEPTEMBER and they're just now, in November, telling us about it.

Something is wrong, but since he is our first, we had no frame of reference to tell us that something is out of the norm.

Who knew that all the issues we have with him aren't really caused by our crappy parenting skills!

Janet said...

I'm also irritated with my pediatrician. Granted, I usually take both of them in together, and it's a nightmare for me, the doctor doesn't really spend any time with me, and even though he will act concerned about something, he never gives me any positive feedback on how to CHANGE the issue.

Case in point, he says my children weigh too much for their height, but never asks me any questions about their diet and nutrition, or give me any suggestions as to changed I could make in their diet. So I pretty much blow him off about it.

And yes, I definitely need a drink.

Sean the Blogonaut F.C.D. said...

Janet,

Keep your chin up. Learn from your mistakes and when you have your childs interests at heart you are being a good parent.