Ramblings, Rants, and Mommyhood Journal

Tebow-mania/hate.

2012-01-09T12:17:00.006-06:00

Tebow. People either love him or hate him.

Why?

If you believe in God and that he cares about us and guides us in our everyday lives, do you *really* think that God cares more about this one person in football than the faithful who have cancer or are homeless?

Why does his faith affect football at all? Yes, he has faith. Good for him! Just because he's more public than most doesn't mean you have to pay attention to him. He has faith that God gave him the ability to play football, and from the little I've heard about his post-game interviews, he thanks God for that ability.**

But I see people on Facebook that act like God personally helped him on specific plays/games. I see people I know are Christian threaten to convert to Islam if he wins the Super Bowl.

To both these extreme views I say: W.T.F?

I'm sorry to break it to y'all, but God doesn't really give a shit about football.

He doesn't seem to care about the thousands of children molested by their priests and elders. He doesn't provide the homeless with food and shelter. He doesn't provide those that need work with jobs.

God doesn't provide shit. Why the fuck would he care about a football game?

PEOPLE provide goodness, kindness, and love.

It's PEOPLE that give food, clothing and time to shelters to help the poor.

It's PEOPLE that create shelters in the first place, be they government or private.

It's PEOPLE that adopt families at Christmas so children have coats for winter.

It's PEOPLE that stand up for those abused by the very ones who claim to speak for God.

One of my biggest pet peeves are those that give "God" credit for all the hard work they themselves did. God didn't help you win that race, that promotion, that goal you set. YOU did. YOU worked your ass off for it. Not some invisible being in the sky.

People are all about giving God credit for the good stuff, but you never hear anyone give him credit for striking some kid with cancer or a fire that burns a house down. (And those that would comfort a grieving parent with "God has a plan" should die a thousand fiery deaths.)

Now, I'm not a believer in God (especially the Judeo-Christian one, he's an asshole), but hearing people give thanks to whom they believe in for whatever ability they have doesn't really bother me.

Hearing the media call the last play in the Bronco/Steeler game yesterday "divine" does piss me off. It wasn't divine. It was talent and luck. Nothing more, nothing less.

Judge Tebow all you want based upon his talent (or lack thereof) for actual football, but not for his show of religion.

Now, if he starts trying to convert people, all bets are off.

**No, I don't watch him, he's a fucking Bronco. I hate the Broncos simply because I'm a Chiefs fan, duh.

Stuck. in. the. mud.

2011-12-14T23:51:00.004-06:00

I... am a creature of habit. I'm very brand loyal, until I change my mind 10 years down the road. One of the few exceptions to this is anything hair related.

So it should be no surprise to anyone that I've made the same chocolate chip recipe for the last 15-20 years, with only mild variations. It's a damn good recipe, why fuck with it, right?

But that's pretty much the only cookie I ever make. Well, I make 3 different kinds of cookies; chocolate chip, chocolate chip oatmeal, and no-bake chocolate peanut butter. (Do you see the theme yet?)

I've had in my possession, from my first marriage, a cookbook called Mrs. Fields I Love Chocolate! Cookbook. At least 15 years. In my possession. One hundred easy and irresistible recipes!

You would think, with as much as I like chocolate, I would have tried one or two of these recipes out, right?

Well, I'm stupid.

I've been meaning to bake cookies with Josie all week, and I finally got around to it tonight. But I wanted something... different. I'm tired of the same freaking recipe that I make every. single. time.

So I reach for the Mrs. Fields book. Flip through it to see if I find anything that catches my eye. That I might actually have all the ingredients for. I find Chocolate Coconut Crunch Cookies.

I have almonds. Raw unsalted almonds instead of salted and roasted, but I have almonds.

I have almond extract.

I have shredded coconut.

(This is the part where my mother starts laughing.)

Now, I have always hated coconut. My mother used to make this weird cake that was covered in coconut on the frosting, and I would refuse to eat it. I refused pretty much anything that had coconut in it. Till I saw Smitten Kitchen's recipe for Apple Granola. I figured a little coconut in the granola part wouldn't hurt, so I had Keith pick up some for me. I figured I'd try it in the first batch, and if I didn't like, I'd throw the damn stuff away.

It's now on my grocery list because I'm almost out.

So I made these cookies with coconut and raw almonds, and they taste pretty freaking good if you ask me and Keith. We'll see tomorrow how the kids like it.

Mrs. Fields Chocolate Coconut Crunch Cookies

2 c all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
2 sticks (1 c) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 c brown sugar
3/4 c granulated sugar
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
2 c shredded coconut
12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 c lightly salted, dry-roasted almonds, finely chopped

Preheat the oven to 300F

In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

In a medium bowl with an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugars. Beat in the eggs, vanilla, and almond extract. Mix on low speed until blended. Add the flour mixture and mix just until blended; do not overmix. Add the coconut, chocolate chips, and almonds and stir until just incorporated.

Drop the dough by rounded tablespoon 2 inches apart onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, or until set. Transfer to wire racks to cool. YEILD: about 4 dozen

Now personally, I mixed the coconut, chocolate chips, and the almonds with my mixer. I'm too lazy to do that by hand, and they turned out just fine. I will, however, lower the amount of extract the next time I make these to 1 1/2 tsp of vanilla and 1/2 tsp of almond, because DAMN that's a lot of extract! And I'm sure having roasted almonds adds a layer of flavor I don't have with the raw, but the raw work just fine. I got 96 cookies out of one batch, but I make small cookies.

So yeah. Not so stuck in the mud with my cookie recipes anymore. Sorta.

California

2011-10-29T07:18:00.003-05:00

(how we got here)

Ever since I was a teenager, I've wanted a life in California. One that didn't involve quite so many "rules" as my parents religion. I'm not really sure why I picked California in particular, other than it was way the fuck away from small-town Missouri and it had an ocean. Oh, and I wanted to be in Los Angeles, because I wanted to be in a city. (I also L.O.V.E. New York City, but it's too frickin cold for me!)

My very first trip to Cali was a flight into Reno, NV, staying with my (ex) boyfriend's friend somewhere between Sacramento and Reno. It was so beautiful. I learned I'm pretty bad at skeet shooting, and that "keeping up with the boys" when it comes to tequila shots is a pretty bad idea.

This trip with my (ex) boyfriend involved spending an afternoon in San Fransisco, driving up the 1 to Bodega Bay where we spent the night, then winding our way back home via Napa Valley (with a few stops, of course!)

It was beautiful, if not the city.

In 2005, Keith was working for a company that several offices in California, and he flew out several times, mostly to San Jose.

One of his trips was scheduled for January of 2006 to Irvine, CA, in Orange County, when I was pregnant with Josie. Matthew was still (at 2 years old) not sleeping through the night, and I knew that after Josie was born, I'd be getting even less sleep than I was already, so we planned to buy me another ticket and I could go with Keith on this trip. (I mean, who wouldn't want to go to Southern Cali in the middle of winter?!)

That trip in January fell through, and once I hit my third tri-mester, I told Keith he wasn't allowed to travel without me. When they rescheduled his trip for March, he passed along my request, and his company paid for my plane ticket! We had an awesome weekend (Fri-Tues), and met some really great people that lived in Venice Beach, Ian and Alicia.

For two years, Ian bugged us about coming back out for a visit. Keith and I finally managed to go in 2008 for another long weekend. The first thing Ian said to us was "where's your kids?", at which point I laughed, because this was the first break I'd had since the last time we out in CA.

We fell in love with what is known as "the Westside". (That would be anything west of the 405.) This included Santa Monica, Venice Beach, Mar Vista and Culver City.

Keith started looking for a job in these areas. Because even though we loved LA and California, the point was to live and work on the west side so we wouldn't have to deal with traffic. I mean, what's the point of living in paradise if you have to drive 2 hours in traffic to just get to and from work?

So life went on, and in August 2010 we came out as a family, and not only did my kids get to fly for the very first time, they got to visit the ocean! And eat at In-n-Out Burger! We had an awesome vacation.

This past April, Keith was doing some research for something his company was going to start implementing, and ran across a blog that listed companies that were hiring. One of them happened to be a very well known company. Keith clicked on it, and it listed it's location as Santa Monica, CA. Interesting. So he clicked again, and the qualifications needed was his "exact" skill set. Interesting. He applied and sent his resume thinking that nothing would happen of it. He expected a "thank you but we're only looking at local candidates" type of response.

The very next day, the HR department called and said they wanted to set up a phone interview. Um, ok! So the phone interview is set up, and the day after that she calls again and says they want to fly him out for a face-to-face interview. WHAT?!

We just might actually need to tell a few people at this point. Especially since I had just told my sister not 4 months before that we weren't looking to move anytime soon. So we told our best friends and my adopted family.

He spent the weekend after my birthday in LA for his interview (which he NAILED, btw) staying with Ian and Alicia again.

By the end of the next week, he had signed paperwork, turned in his notice at his old job, and we told the rest of our families.

Within 3 weeks, we went from "we're not even looking" to "OMG, WE'RE MOVING TO CALIFORNIA!!!"

Keith left Kansas City on June 5th, and the kids and I joined him on July 27th. During that time I had so much help packing and getting the house ready to move that I could never express my thanks enough to those that helped. My friends ROCK, y'all.

So now we've been in Santa Monica for 3 months now and we're all fitting in quite nicely. Even Matthew, who I think had the hardest time adjusting. I love my kids school and I love their teachers. Well, Matthew's teacher, anyway. Josie's teacher I'm kinda 'meh' about, but she's nice and Josie doesn't have any problems.

Keith L.O.V.E.S his new job, and they love him. We're starting to find people we can be friends with as well.

We all miss everyone back in Kansas City terribly, though. We can't wait until we get the house there sold so we can come visit everyone. (I would count the days, but that's not exactly how the housing market works)

And... it's still fucking perfect out here.

So...

2011-06-06T23:15:00.003-05:00

Our big move to Santa Monica is progressing. I guess that's a nice way to say it. All of the major projects to the house have been done, and now I just get to clean and sort and get rid of and pack. And entertain the kids.

woot.

I have till the end of June to get the house done. The house needs to be on the market by July 1st, and my schedule for July is insane.

If anyone feels the need to clean, sort, pack, paint or entertain children, do call!

Seriously.

Dirty little freaks

2010-11-10T20:47:00.000-06:00

Thank you, Pink, for putting out another kick-ass song!

I will not be silent. I will not vanish.

2010-10-20T15:54:00.004-05:00

Not today.

Today, the day that was designated "Wear Purple for Tolerance" day.

As pretty much everyone who has met me knows, I am a former Jehovah's Witness. My parents are still, and so are my two bio brothers.

I spent two years in therapy to learn to accept that my parents will never truly love me unconditionally. I wasn't allowed to attend either of my brother's weddings. I don't have what most people consider a "normal" relationship with my bio family.

Instead, I have my family-by-choice. Parents, brothers, a sister. I've built an awesome circle of friends, who treat me far better than my bio family does.

I've also been a member of an Ex-JW Recovery forum on Yuku. This community has been an absolute savior for many, including myself. It's a place we can go and vent about the crap we deal with because of that fucked up religious cult and everyone KNOWS what we're going through. Because if you haven't been through it, you really don't know.

Several days ago, someone posted about the gentleman who took a very unusual path to dealing with the pain of loosing his religion. The same religion I left.

This was the article posted. About Richard Ivey III, who found inner peace by hanging from six hooks from a tree for four hours.

Now most everyone on this forum is atheist/spiritual, and very accepting of others choices/beliefs/lack of beliefs, but a couple of those that commented on this post mentioned how it looked like he was on the 'wrong path', that hopefully he wouldn't continue down this 'wrong path'.

So two days ago I stepped up on my soapbox.

I asked WHY it was the 'wrong path' for him to take? Who are they to judge him? Many people who had normal childhoods are into pain, tattoos, and bdsm. Just because it's outside of what is considered mainstream, people who are into this tend to hide it from the outside world. Because it's not acceptable, it's not 'normal'.

It's because of things said like this that there have been 5 suicides in the LGBTQ community. Because someone says something judgmental and kids hear this, and it tells them that they're not worthy, they're not acceptable, there is something 'wrong' with them for feeling this way or for liking certain things (like pain). It's not like we haven't had enough judging from the fucking religion we all have in common.

Stop the cycle of judgment.

That's a paraphrasing of what I posted. I used the word fuck exactly twice, and not once did I verbally attack a person. Their words, yes. That's the major rule on our forum, never do personal attacks. I triple checked my post to make sure there were no personal attacks. Because I was really angry when I wrote it. Because 5 teenagers have TAKEN THEIR LIVES because of shit like this.

Yesterday evening, a full day after I had posted, and after logging in several times during the day yesterday, I tried to log on, and discovered that I was banned, and I have no access to the forum anymore. Today I discovered that the guy that runs the board has unfriended me on Facebook.

I was given no warning, there was no email telling me I had been banned, either for 48 hours (as is common for first offenders) or permanently.

So I contacted the co-admin. She finally got an answer from the main admin who runs the site, who said, yes, he was aware that I had been banned, there was no mistake, and he wasn't going to talk about it. She went to look for the offending post, and it is no longer on the forum, not even in the locked thread part that no one sees. It's just gone. Vanished. Like it never existed.

I still don't know if the ban is permanent or not.

The irony of being kicked off the forum that's a haven for escapees of one of the most judgmental religions for telling people to be less judgmental has not escaped me.

But for it to happen on today was extremely painful.

Today was "Wear Purple" day, to stand up against intolerance, to stand up for unity despite differences.

Today I bleed from a cut I was not expecting. A cut given to me by a place that has been a refuge from intolerance.

I guess it's not anymore.

Wow

2010-10-20T09:45:00.002-05:00

So I've been banned from my ex-jw forum. For telling a couple of people to stop the cycle of judgment.

The irony kills me.

To spank or not to spank.

2010-09-01T11:57:00.003-05:00

There's a new fad going on over at Facebook, one that I kinda get, but not really. I'd say about 20-25% of my friend list have "liked" I would rather go to jail for spanking my kids, than for them to go because I don't.

Now, I'm a firm believer that spanking should be in a parent's tool kit/arsenal of parenting. In fact, my 7-yr old just got two spankings yesterday morning.

Now my version of spanking is miles apart from my parents. I was only spanked with a belt, and always by my father (the biggest/strongest person in the house). Once, I was actually "spanked" (I prefer whipped) so hard I had bruises on my legs for two weeks.

My spanking? Maximum of three swats to the butt-leg area with my open hand, just hard enough to get their attention and feel a bit of pain. I don't think Keith (the biggest/strongest person in the house) has EVER spanked either of our kids, and we most certainly have never used a belt or even a wooden spoon on our kids.

By "liking" this spanking attitude, you are glorifying spanking, and if you're hitting your child so hard that you're being sent to jail for it, no matter if it's discipline or not, you SHOULD go to jail! Likely, you've hit your child so hard that you've killed it. Because that's pretty much what it takes to send someone to jail for child abuse.

I get that people have knee-jerk reactions and like "liking" these simple attitudes, and that most people spank their children and are fighting those "peace loving hippies who think violence never solves anything" and telling people to stay out of their personal parenting style. I really get that! But, those "peace loving hippies" are actually right, and there are studies to back them up. Hitting your child teaches them that hitting other people is okay.

And really, the kids that have overly permissive parents don't go to jail, their rich daddies bail them out and pay lawyers thousands of dollars to keep their kids out of jail. The people in jail? They, most often, were the most hit children on their block.

I know that most of the people I know that have "liked" this spanking thing don't actually spank their children that much, and are probably very moderate and loving parents. I just wish they would think about the real message they're sending when they "like" shit like this.

Dancing at the Movies - Music Video

2010-09-01T10:32:00.001-05:00

I so wish I knew how to dance...

Best Movie Mashup I've ever seen....

2010-04-28T09:02:00.001-05:00

btw, it's not too late to buy me a b-day present... like this t-shirt...

in which I carry heavy rocks...

2010-03-25T12:36:00.003-05:00

We've lived in our house almost 7 years now. During that time we've managed to complete several projects around the house, including a few we didn't exactly plan on.

About two years after we moved in, I had Keith pull out the shrubbery that was along the front of the house. Naturally, I've managed to not do anything about it outside of making plans in my head and research on the internet, leaving the front of the house looking like this:

Isn't that just lovely? Five years it's looked like that. Five YEARS. People, I have the most patient husband EVER!

But Tuesday, that changed.

This is what it looked like after the first trip to Suburban Lawn & Garden:

After the second trip:

After the third trip:

So I've got the outline down finally, and as soon as the ground dries out enough, I'm ordering 5 cubic yards of enriched top soil and filling it in. Hopefully that will happen in the next week or so. The money's already been set aside.

And there's still plenty of projects left to do, including repainting pretty much every wall I've already painted and then some.

2010-03-08T09:10:00.002-06:00

Okay, go watch this if you haven't seen it already:

Jimmy's response:

Now, both of these are old, and everyone should have seen them already. But unless you watched Jimmy's after-Oscar show last night, you missed this:

Best evar!

drool

2010-01-12T11:23:00.001-06:00

I wanna see this just because Bradly Cooper walks around without a shirt in at least one scene...

hey!

2009-11-26T11:23:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Volunteering...

2009-10-16T17:41:00.003-05:00

So I wanted to be "involved" in my childrens' schooling. Not helicopter style, but enough that the teachers could use the "I'll call your mom" and actually mean it, because they know who I am.

So what's the best way to be "involved"? Volunteering with the PTA, of course.

My job? Collecting the Campbell's label UPC codes. Such a glamorous life I lead, let me tell you!

And guess what? The label without the UPC code is worthless! No points for you!

Stacks of labels with no UPC codes... Need to make that a bit more obvious the next time for the parents.

I personally delivered to each teacher (in their mailbox at school) a ziplock bag with their name/grade on it because the class with the most points wins a party. All they had to do was put the labels/UPC codes in the specified baggies and put them in a box in the office.

Is it ethical to put all the unmarked labels in the bag for my child's class?

RIP, Teddy

2009-08-26T13:41:00.001-05:00

Thank you for believing so passionately about health care.

Damn

2009-08-25T11:56:00.001-05:00

I really haven't posted much this summer, have I?

Sorry.

I'll get the pics from Matt's b-day uploaded off the camera and post them soon... (and his first day of school)

Happy birthday Bubba!

2009-08-17T11:02:00.003-05:00

No matter how obnoxious you become (because I know it's going to get worse), I will always love you unconditionally!

Congratulations on catching your first ever fish yesterday, and I'll see you at school later with cupcakes!

No words...

2009-07-27T09:56:00.002-05:00

just absolutely beautiful.

'SYTYCD' Top 8: Melissa & Ade's Contemporary Performance @ Y! TV

I don't watch reality tv, but I'm glad I ran across this. I feel so lucky that both of the lumps my mother had removed were benign cysts.

The knife keeps turning

2009-07-21T09:50:00.003-05:00

So last week, my two precious babies went down to my parents' for three whole nights.

The first night they were gone, Keith got me so drunk I couldn't walk a straight line. The next day we went to Spin for lunch, then went and saw HP & HBP, which was just awesome. (even though you know that hand is coming up out of the water, you still jump!)

We ate Jack Stack for lunch on Friday, then hit my favorite sushi bar for dinner. Fate met up with us there and showed us the ring he bought for Fin, and we put together a plan to surprise her on Sunday. Saturday I put our plan in action, and we picked up the kids.

Now, while transferring the kids and all their stuff, my dad asked my mom where the large white envelope of pictures was, and she responded that it was in Josie's bag. I really should have got it out right then and there, but I didn't.

So putting all the kids clothes in the laundry, I find this envelope, and I open it. Inside is a book, and a picture of myself at age 3 that I've previously asked my mother for a copy of. Yay!

Except the book is pictures of my youngest brother's wedding. The one that they LIED to me about, pretending it wasn't happening, the one they were just going to tell me about after it was over. The same brother who still refuses to answer the phone when I call him or return my messages.

If I'd opened it while still with my parents, I would have handed it back to my mom, telling her I didn't want it, because I have no room for cowards in my life. I may still send it back, I haven't really decided yet.

So there's all this emotion going through me, and I know I've got to pull it together by Sunday, when Andrew proposed to Kris. I manage, and on Sunday my tears were happy ones.

Last night, I had a dream where I totally reamed my baby brother out for all the shit he's done, and then I had Andrew's shoulder to cry on. I woke up feeling awesome, and ready to kick this wedding's butt, cause damn! we've only got two months to plan it!

Come September 19th, I'm going to stand up for the man who has truly become my brother, and I couldn't be more proud of him, or happier that he's found the perfect woman for him. It's just a bonus that it's my best friend he's found!

Somebody needs to remember the very large box of kleenex, cause I'm gonna be bawling!

um, Hi!

2009-07-11T09:56:00.003-05:00

I know, it's been forever since I've posted anything, but there's not much to say, really. Just normal summer stuff with the kids.

I have been dealing with some of the religion crap, but only because my mom asked to have the kids visit, and we finally agreed they could visit for a few days.

It's like a wound that will never truly heal, it just develops this thick scab. And every once in a while, something comes along and picks at it to make it bleed again.

So yeah, my kids are visiting my mom this week, Keith took two days off from work while they're gone; we're going to take the motorcycle out and go watch Harry Potter. Should be fun.

Wound...being picked at...

Nerdgasm!

2009-06-04T09:07:00.000-05:00

LMAO!

to my baby girl...

2009-05-19T10:41:00.003-05:00

Three years ago you came into this world, and every moment (mostly) since has been an absolute joy.

Happy Birthday, Josie!

Catching up...

2009-05-14T20:20:00.004-05:00

...on things you're supposed to do every six months, but I haven't done in over 7 years.... (ie. the dentist.)

So I went for to the dentist today to get my teeth cleaned, mostly because I know I have a cavity. What I didn't know is that the cavity is almost (if not already) to the pulp of the tooth. If it is, then I get a lovely root canal. So not looking forward to that.

At least I've still got some percoset left over from my last surgery to get through the pain!

And I get to eat some of Josie's b-day cake the night before...

I heart Hillary Clinton

2009-04-29T15:45:00.000-05:00

Ten years

2009-04-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

Today is my 10th birthday. Tonight will be so different than my first, but I will be surrounded by people I love, and who love me unconditionally. Ten fucking years since I left the church, my family, and every so-called friend I ever had behind. There's been a lot of pain in the past 10 years, but it's been worth it.

Ten years ago my b-day was on a Tuesday. I showed up at (hair) school late and hung over, then went to work at the Fox & Hound (on Metcalf). The night ended with me being driven back to Kristina's house by a friend because I was falling off the chair drunk (literally!).

A few months later I met Keith, and the rest is history!

The Flood of 2009

2009-04-23T11:09:00.005-05:00

It seems like every year, something big goes wrong in our house. Last year it was our upstairs A/C unit. It died. In the middle of August. Which, if you live or have ever lived in the Midwest, you know how miserable it can be without a/c. We've recovered from that finally.

This year, thanks to a potty training princess who liked to use to much toilet paper, we had a flood.

Basically, there was toilet paper stuck in the pipe from a previous usage, and when she flushed it, the rubber stopper in the bottom of the tank did not seal, so the toilet overflowed and ran for 15-20 minutes before I noticed the issue.

Now, I don't have any pictures of the bathroom while it was flooded. In fact, the bathroom has no damage what-so-ever. But there was an inch of water in my bathroom.

The kitchen, however, was not so lucky.

There was half an inch of water on my kitchen floor, and an inch in my stove top.

And the basement under the kitchen? Well...

So now our kitchen ceiling looks like this:

And our basement ceiling looks like this:

As of right now, we have not taken down the sheet rock in the kitchen, but there is about the equivalent of two sheets that need to be replaced. We have taken down the nasty pop-corn crap and Keith has started the refinishing of the non-damaged area so we can paint when it's repaired.

Anyone have a set of sheet-rock stilts that Keith can borrow? His neck hurts.

The Tango.

2009-04-11T16:54:00.002-05:00

A few years ago, Keith and I took ballroom dancing lessons through one of our local YMCA's. Due to lack of a babysitter on Sunday nights, we no longer attend *dammit*. One of the many dances we learned (that I really no longer remember) was the Tango.

But this? Just...

Damn!

The Passover Seder

2009-03-31T15:15:00.001-05:00

Facebook style.

Moses is Departing Egypt: A Facebook Haggadah

The sages probably did not intend this.

Fun with Elmo

2009-03-12T13:23:00.001-05:00

There's not much to add to this, really.

Enjoy.

Happiness is a choice.

2009-03-04T21:02:00.005-06:00

I remember sitting at a Mary Kay meeting many years ago, listening to the director talk about money and happiness.

"Money doesn't buy happiness, money buys choices. It's your choices that make you happy."

I have never forgotten those words, they gave me the strength to find my own happiness. In the process, I left an unhappy marriage, and a high-control, borderline cult of a religion. Sadly, my blood family chose to stay behind. While this has caused me much pain, it doesn't really affect my overall happiness with my life. I have an awesome husband, two beautiful children, a sister (something I didn't have before), and true friendships with people who value who I am.

It's no secret that I've been in therapy since my oldest brother uninvited me to his wedding. The pain and trauma of leaving the religion of my birth still had to be dealt with; it had been buried for years.

I'm toward the end of my therapy now, even though I don't think I will ever give it up completely. I can't say it changed my life, but it has helped me deal with the curves life throws at me with a lot more composure, and helped me to sort out my past and to accept that people/family can't/won't be what I need them to be.

Over a year ago my therapist, Dawna, read to me something she had written, and I liked it so much I begged her to let me post it. She's finally to the point of sharing it (hopefully it will be published soon), and I have it here for you now.

Soul Clay

The insult she held against herself was deeply made and liberally felt every moment. She had allowed herself to be made over by someone else.

She did not expect him to provide her with clay. Instead, she simply pulled away from herself areas of unhardened clay lying just under her skin. Freely, she passed over parts of herself to be molded by the man she chose to trust, not because he was trustworthy but because she didn’t trust herself. “He must know better,” she told herself. “He must know how to make something more of me.”

He took her clay because he recognized its quality and potential. He thought he could use it to re-make parts of himself, but, her clay wouldn’t stick to him. It wasn’t made for him.

Her soul clay hardened too fast on his frame. It became brittle and fell off his skin. Every bit of her he took became useless to him and to her.

What price did she pay for her submission? What price is worth selling pieces of your soul? “Love is!” she cried. There is no love in her story. She didn’t love herself enough to trust she would fashion her soul into something meaningful. She didn’t have the patience to remain unchanged until some beautiful moment transformed what was still soft inside of her.

The counterfeit for love that she readily exchanged herself for was security; a modern version of selling one’s soul to the devil. She sold her soul, or at least pieces of it, for nothing. He was only her perception of security, her projection of protection. He didn’t even protect her from herself.

He had hardened long before he met her, only looking for someone still naive enough to open up her soft soul to share. She thought of it as sharing, at first. He only needed a little of her soul clay, a little each day. Since she didn’t know what to do with what she had, giving it to him was easy.

Later she saw the results of his theft. Hardened, broken and useless shards of her soul clay lay in heaps on his workshop floor. Every part of her he had taken remained unusable to him, ruined. She had become emaciated, not resembling even the simple unfinished self she had been when they first met.

She confronted the man, demanded what was hers! “Sweep it up,” he mocked and left. Tenderly, she swept her scattered soul clay into a pile along with bottle caps, toe nail clippings, and some broken glass.

She worried about how she would ever get herself back together and separate from this mess. As she worked, she noticed her skill at recognizing the missing parts of herself. Delighted, she began to see what she wasn’t (and was) for the first time as she separated the trash from her soul clay.

When she cried over her loss, she decided to make every tear count. She poured them over the pile of old, hardened clay, softening the deformed shards. Then she massaged the newly wet, old soul, clay back into herself. Understanding, as she reformed her shape, she can love what she creates and trust her own hands. - Dawna Grigsby, 2008

Own your choices, and you can be happy.

2009-03-03T13:18:00.003-06:00

I'm not really a big Terminator fan, in fact, I've not seen any of them on the big screen. I've seen most of one and two on cable, don't think I've ever seen three at all.

I am, however, a HUGE Christian Bale fan (so much so that I refused to listen to his rant last month). I've loved him since the long-forgotten Newsies came out oh so many years ago.

I don't really make it a point to watch Bale movies just because he's in them. It has to be a movie I actually want to see per my preferences.

I think I want to see this one.

site updates

2009-02-07T19:53:00.002-06:00

So I've updated the left side just a bit. I added a link to our picture gallery on Smugmug (since we are no longer self-hosting) and I added a slide show of my current favorite gallery from said Smugmug account, just like Keith has done over at the family site.

One of these days I need to update my links and stuff, but tonight I have to make a run to a specific Target to get Princess Rockstar Josie a specific Tinker Bell bed set for her new big girl bed I'm hoping to get up either tomorrow or Tuesday. Not that that's the one she wanted, she wants the Strawberry Shortcake one that no one sells anymore. *sigh*

And yes, if you call her Rockstar, she will respond. But she looks so damn cute in her pink sunglasses!

Because Annie's been around longer than Pink

2009-02-03T15:03:00.006-06:00

Annie Lennox is one of my all-time favorite singers. From Sweet Dreams to Little Bird, Why? to Whiter Shade of Pale, Walking on Broken Glass to No More I Love You's, Here Comes The Rain Again to There Must be an Angel, Missionary Man to Would I Lie To You?, and all the songs I haven't listed, Annie's voice rings loud and pure.

Over two decades later, she's still kicking butt and taking names.

This one is my current favorite from her most recent album, Songs of Mass Destruction:

Annie Lennox Sing
Uploaded by bebepanda

The first single from that album was just as powerful.

"Dark Road" 2007
Uploaded by virtualmatter

And they both fit my mood lately, so there ya go.

An update on the sick boi...

2009-01-09T09:51:00.002-06:00

Keith is actually back at work today, he's still not 100%, but he's getting there. Wednesday afternoon, he was actually up (sorta) and Thursday he had enough strength to help with the kids by fixing their lunch & dinner, and bath time stuff.

THEN! Thursday night, after I got home from having dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in a few months, Keith broke out in hives from the amoxicillian he was taking for the sinus infection! All I could do was laugh!

He'll be visiting the doctor again today (if he hasn't already) to get a new antibiotic script (and informing him of the fainting). For the record, everyone but me is now allergic to amoxicillian in this house. And I won't take it!

Thank you to everyone that sent their positive thoughts and caring, it was much appreciated.

Scary shit

2009-01-07T14:31:00.004-06:00

Keith caught a cold virus around the New Year, and it's been disrupting our sleep quite a bit the last week or so. Well, him and a certain two year old who can't hold it in all night long, but at least she doesn't pee in her bed, right? Early Tuesday morning, he told me he thought it was turning into a sinus infection, so yesterday we packed the kids and I took him to the doctor. The doctor said, yes you have a sinus infection, here's your drugs, and sent us on our merry way.

Now, we had plans last night, which included celebrating the birthday of our favorite librarian.

Maybe I should start with the fact that I can never tell how sick Keith actually is based on his actions. He pretty much lays in bed, and I leave him alone, because he's a guy. This has worked well for the entire time we've been living together.

Yesterday, he did not eat anything. At all. He stayed in bed and slept for most of the day. I let him be, thinking he would be well enough to go to dinner. About a half hour before the baby sitter was due to arrive, he had me take his temp, and it was quite high, so no dinner for him.

When I got home from all the festivities and taking the sitter home, his temp seemed normal. After two HUGE glasses of red wine with a very large Italian dinner AND a pint of beer, I was pretty damn tired, so I went to sleep.

Around 3:30am this morning, I was awakened by a loud crash. I noticed the bathroom light was on and Keith was not in bed with me. I called his name, and he responded from the bathroom floor. He had fallen, bumping his head in the process. He tells me he's okay, then passes out WITH HIS EYES OPEN. He does not respond to me at all, even though I'm screaming in his ear.

I run back to the nightstand by the bed where our phones are, and grab one, running back to him quickly. Of course, I grab his phone, the one I never use and am not familiar with. I'm frantic, screaming at him. He tells me he's fine, and starts responding to me again. I told him it was like he was passed out with his eyes open, and he said that's what it feels like.

He was out for less than 20 seconds; I didn't even have time to unlock his phone to dial 911.

He tells me he just wants to go back to bed so he can pass out again. Yeah, right, like I'm going to help him do THAT! He tells me he bumped his head when he fell, so I check his pupils to rule out concussion, just as a precaution. I tell him to stay where he's at and run down to get some orange juice, and make him drink it and rest a bit before I help him back to bed.

Did I mention that I was so freaked out I was crying? Yeah. And I'm really surprised that my screaming didn't wake one of the kids.

So I don't really go back to sleep for over an hour, because I'm so scared. He actually walked back to bed under his own power, otherwise I would have woken the kids myself, packed them up and taken him to the ER, four in the morning be damned.

Why do all the emergencies happen in the middle of the night? Could someone please tell me that?

So today, I've been a total bossy bitch to him. I brought him a glass of orange juice after feeding the kids breakfast, made him drink that. I fixed a pear for him after taking Matthew to pre-school, and told him he was eating it whether he wanted to or not. For lunch, I told him he HAD to eat something, and he picked a slice of toast.

He did get out of bed this morning, although he laid down on the floor with pillows to watch TV. Around 2pm, he took a bath, then went downstairs and voluntarily ate some almonds and raisins and drank another glass of orange juice, then laid down on the couch to watch TV downstairs.

I talked to my favorite nurse, and she recommended Gatorade in addition to watching him closely, so I fixed him some. When I brought it to him, he asked for a brownie (that was fresh out of the oven), and he's complaining about how bossy I am today. I think he's feeling better now.

But I'm tired, and feel like crying. I don't think I've ever been that scared. Ever.

Mixed feelings, as usual.

2008-12-22T11:46:00.006-06:00

So.

Yesterday, I got an email from my mom. The first contact I've had with her since March. Well, I did send my parents an anniversary card back in September, but she never responded, (not that I expected anything in return).

The email was short, the abbreviated version of an update on her and my dad, my oldest brother and his wife, and my other brother (who's married, but there was no mention of his wife, maybe she forgot I KNOW he got married). And there's a package in the mail for me and Josie.

Um, okay.

MARCH. When I found out my brother was getting married in April, and they weren't going to tell me.

Today, my mailman delivered said package. Upon opening it, I immediately recognized a blanket from my childhood. Underneath that blanket was another blanket, very much like the blanket she sent Matthew when he was little, so I know she made it herself. At the bottom of the box was a card for me.

Dear Janet,

Thank you for the anniversary card.

The blue blanket is for Josie. The other one is for you. It is the one Granny made for you when you were small. Thought you might like to have it.

...

Was wondering if we could get the kids for a weekend or so? Sometime. We really do love you and miss you.

Love Mom

A million different feelings are swirling around my head right now. Anger, love, sadness, missing my Granny, etc... One of the main thoughts is why the fuck couldn't she have waited until AFTER Christmas to fuck with my emotions!?

I'm very glad to have my blanket. Honestly, I'd completely forgotten about it, and I don't remember that my Granny made it for me. But now I know, and I'm old enough to appreciate it even more. I will cherish it always, that's for sure. The two blankets she's now sent to the kids are very sturdy and washable, and will survive the use of two children, and I will pack them away in a few years, saving them until they too are old enough to truly appreciate something made by their grandmother.

As for letting my children stay with my parents, well, I just don't know. Very mixed feelings about that. I'd love a weekend away from my kids with just my husband. But I refuse to let my children step foot inside their "kingdom hall". R.E.F.U.S.E. I'd also prefer that if my parents are going to be involved in my children's lives, they do it more than just once a year. *sigh*

So, we'll see, I guess.

My blanket:

Up close:

Fighting for peace

2008-12-10T18:49:00.004-06:00

Here in the United States, we have a volunteer military. It wasn't always this way. Right now our military is stretched thin, and a draft in the near future is possible. I hope it doesn't come to that, but it is possible. *Maybe not kicking the gays out would help*

In Israel, serving in the military is required, for both men and women. I think the requirement is 2 years, but I'm not sure about that. This has been part of the Israeli culture for many decades.

Today, I was introduced to Omer Goldman, via Ed Asner. There is a new generation of young Israelis standing up to the government. They believe in a better, more peaceful future for themselves and for Israelis and Palestinians, and they are refusing to join the Israeli army. They're in jail, holding strong against immense pressure from family, friends and the Israeli government.

Omer's own words:

I first went to prison on September 23 and served 35 days. I am lucky, after 2 times in jail, I got a medical discharge, but I'm the only one. By the time you read this, many of my friends will be in prison too: in for three weeks, out for one, and then back in, over and over, until they are 21. The reason? We refuse to do military service for the Israeli army.
I grew up with the army. My father was deputy head of Mossad and I saw my sister, who is eight years older than me, do her military service. As a young girl, I wanted to be a soldier. The military was such a part of my life that I never even questioned it.

Earlier this year, I went to a peace demonstration in Palestine. I had always been told that the Israeli army was there to defend me, but during that demonstration Israeli soldiers opened fire on me and my friends with rubber bullets and tear-gas grenades. I was shocked and scared. I saw the truth. I saw the reality. I saw for the first time that the most dangerous thing in Palestine is the Israeli soldiers, the very people who are supposed to be on my side.

When I came back to Israel, I knew I had changed. And so, I have joined with a number of other young people who are refusing to serve - they call us the Shministim. On December 18th, we are holding a Day of Action in Israel, and we are determined to show Israelis and the world that there is wide support for stopping a culture of war. Will you join us? Please, just sign a letter. That's all it takes.

Everyone should have the choice to serve or to not serve. Everyone should have the choice of promoting peace without resorting to war.

Jewish Voice for Peace is the U.S. group heading things up for the Shministim. Sign the petition here if you want to stand up for Omer and those like her.

Myself, I've always been conflicted about military service. Growing up as a Jehovah's Witness, one of the many 'rules' was NO MILITARY SERVICE. If you joined the military, you were turning you back on "God" and putting your faith in 'Man'. No matter what country you were in. They were really big on the whole "you'll find Catholics killing Catholics and Protestants killing Protestants, but you'll never hear of JWs killing JWs"! I've always had a strong respect for those that choose to fight for the freedoms I enjoyed. I was hyper-aware, you might say, because I wasn't allowed that choice.

I never took my right to stand without my hand over my heart during the Pledge of Allegience for granted. NEVER. In fact, the very first fight Keith and I ever had was about that very subject. My religion forbade me certain things, and I was grateful that others had given me those rights so I didn't have go to prison. JWs in other countries weren't always so lucky. Hell, during the draft days, many of the JWs DID go to prison for refusing to serve in the military. Or, like my father, used the loopholes in the system to keep their names from coming up.

I think the draft has it's place, honestly. And the next time it is used, I hope they start including women. I don't think it's fair in this day and age to exclude them.

But I don't think military service should be mandentory all the time. Only when it's needed. And everyone should have the choice, no matter what country they live in. Everyone should have the choice to stand up for what they believe in.

A few things.

2008-12-09T12:21:00.005-06:00

One of the most adorable things happened yesterday morning.

Josie and I dropped Matthew off at pre-school, and came back home. Josie was watching the Disney channel's Movie Monday. They were showing Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas. I was in the office reading my google reader.

I came out into the bedroom and Josie was lying on the floor, crying. Like her heart was broken.

So I immediately sit down and pull her into my lap, hugging her, trying to find out what's wrong. She looks around me to watch the tv. Still crying.

The movie was at the part where Pluto has destroyed all of Mickey's Christmas decorations, and Mickey had yelled at Pluto. Pluto was banished to his dog house (and subsequently ran away).

She's still crying.

Then Mickey later comes looking for Pluto, and his dog house is empty, she says "Pluto gone" in the saddest voice ever!

It wasn't until Pluto made it back to Mickey (via Santa, of course) that she stopped crying.

My 2.5 yr old daughter was crying over a movie! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both.

As Keith said to me, as they're more able to take care of their physical needs, our job will be to take care of their emotional needs. Of course, I responded with "I hope we don't fuck it up".

We then went and picked up Matthew from pre-school, and in his bag was a letter that he dictated to his teacher to Santa.

Too freakin' cute! It's lucky that he wants train stuff for Christmas, cause he's getting some!

And then, my son decided to cut his hair while Josie and I were taking a nap.

So he's getting a shaved head just in time for winter! Good thing I bought him a new coat with a hood, and a hat/glove set.

Did I mention that we're going to get pictures taken with Santa this Saturday? Yeah.

Hate vs the Economy,

2008-12-03T14:02:00.000-06:00

The musical:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Have I mentioned how much I love Pink?

2008-11-25T12:01:00.004-06:00

Pink's new album, Funhouse, is the soundtrack to my divorce (that was in 1998-9), my sister's divorce (currently ongoing), and every break-up/divorce ever.

I've felt every emotion, personally, on this album. It "speaks" to me, as corny as that sounds.

One of my favorite lines from the album is in the second track, Sober. (I love the whole song, it's hard to pick just one line.)

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth

She released the video to this song today, and all I can say is

Fuck, that's HOT!

P!nk "Sober" Music Video

I think I need a cold shower now.

Love!

2008-11-19T10:36:00.001-06:00

I'm normally a Star Wars girl, but DAMN!

black people still can't catch a break.

2008-11-06T16:05:00.002-06:00

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

Damn, I love the Onion!

Remember, remember, the 5th of November

2008-11-05T14:58:00.004-06:00

Today is November 5, 2008. A day I will never forget.

It's the day after America stood up and told the Religious Right where they could shove their agenda. (Mostly. All of the gay-marriage bans passed. We're still working on that.)

It's the day after America voted a bi-racial man as President of the United States of America. For the first time EVER, there will be a (half) BLACK man in the White House. I am so proud to have had a part at this moment in history. I'm amazed that it happened before my children could vote. Absolutely amazed.

Yesterday, America stood up and rejected hate. Yesterday, America stood up and rejected fear.

Do I think that Barack H. Obama, our president-elect, is the be-all, end-all, savior of the nation? Fuck NO! He's just a man. A politician at that. There will many of his "promises" that he does not keep. But he does know the Constitution, and he believes in the constitution.

He has charged us all in rebuilding our country. It is OUR responsibility to pick up that challenge, and hold him to OUR ideals. To hold him responsible for what he said he would do. And yes, our country DOES need to be rebuilt. Have you not been paying attention to what W has done to our nation? We are a laughing stock to the world. Our economy is in shreds. Our privacy has been stripped away from us.

But god-dammit, this is a start in taking back our country from the crazy nuts that are trying to impose their religious dogma on the rest of us. And they are, whether you believe that or not.

I grew up in a religion that wouldn't let me hold any office in the church. A religion that believed the only place a woman had was in submission to her husband. A religion where I had no voice. A religion that told me what to think, how to dress, who to talk to, who I could be friends with.

I walked away from that religion, and in doing so, lost my blood family. I walked away from every friend I'd ever had. Twenty-eight years of friendships and family, reduced to nothing.

So yeah, when religious people try pass laws based on their particular beliefs, I get really pissed. I've paid a very high price for my religious freedom, and I will let no one take that away from me.

This country was founded with freedom for religion, which includes ALL religions, not just the Christian faith, and the freedom FROM religion.

Keep YOUR religion at home, out of our public schools, and out of our government.

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Just because you think the majority has the right to impose their beliefs on everyone else doesn't make it right. Sometimes we do whats right because it's the right thing to do, not because it's what everyone thinks should happen.

If we didn't, women still wouldn't have the right to vote, and blacks would still be slaves.

So all you Republicans who think that the world just ended and are wondering why, stand up and take your party back from the Religious extremists. Maybe then the rest of us won't mock you anymore.

People should not be afraid of their governments.
The governments should be afraid of their people.

Because even ONE death is one to many...

2008-11-04T14:21:00.002-06:00

Even if you're not in one of the States that voted on this, you might be in the future.

So much for Pro-Life.

Election Day!

2008-11-04T08:18:00.003-06:00

Are you voting?

I am. And I'm taking my kids with me, instead of just waiting for Keith to get home before I go.

Because when my kids ask me, I want to tell them that they were with me when I voted in this historical election, that they got to take part, even though they couldn't vote (because they're 5 and 2, they'd vote for Sportacus or the Imagination Movers).

Because no matter who wins, it's still a 'first'. I just hope that we know by tomorrow, and not have to wait a week like in 2000.

That whole 'Ayers' issue

2008-10-31T22:00:00.001-05:00

*sigh* I want a president who is smart enough to surround himself by people smarter than himself. Is that really too much to ask?

That pesky "Health" problem.

2008-10-29T19:35:00.000-05:00

Gay marriage?

2008-10-27T14:34:00.001-05:00

*snicker*

New Address for the Family Site!

2008-10-25T11:45:00.002-05:00

In case you haven't been checking the link over on the right, Keith has set up a blogger account for the family site, we shall not be self-hosting anymore.

New Sader Family Website.

Eventually he'll get redirect working so that when you type in saderfamily.org, you'll get to the new site, but he hasn't done that yet.

Taking back their party.

2008-10-21T11:10:00.000-05:00

I'm proud of anyone who stands up against hate, no matter what form it may be. These Americans show how it's done.

Less Government, Please!

2008-10-20T13:10:00.002-05:00

Medical choices should not be up to lawmakers. EVER. You cannot legislate morality.

To all the ultra religious conservatives out there who think they have the right to tell me what I can and cannot do to my body, I give you a big FUCK YOU.

sigh

2008-10-13T08:41:00.003-05:00

So the computer that died the other night? Yeah, that was our server for the family website. All of the content is gone...

We still have all the pictures on a different computer, thank the IPU, but Keith lost all of his content, and I doubt we can get it back, which totally sucks because he had some really awesome posts.

And...

My sister is getting a divorce.

Apparently we should have done our drinking at the end of the weekend instead of at the beginning. Bleh.

fyi...

2008-10-12T09:31:00.001-05:00

the family site is down, one of our computers died last night.

RIP, Dent.

Two down...

2008-10-10T15:07:00.001-05:00

Go Connecticut!

About this 'wurk' thing...

2008-10-01T12:36:00.002-05:00

So yeah, Monday night was my first night training at my new job. (Yes, I have a job other than 'mom' now. It was either get a job, or we don't do Christmas, which would you choose?)

My new place of employment is on the Missouri side, and I'm a server (ie: waitress), which means I have to go and get an Employee Liquor Permit to serve alcohol. Apparently you can't serve alcohol if you're a convicted felon in the state of Missouri. Um, okay, whatever.

Stupid me did not go online to get the application, I drove all the way downtown to find out the fee is $40, and they only accept CASH or money order. I did not have $40 in cash on my person, naturally, because we don't have any extra spending cash, and I only use the debit card when we do. Wasted gas and time. Bleh.

And, everyone at my new job is a republican. And not the sane, normal kind, either.

See, I would have been a republican back in 1856 when they led the charge to free the slaves, and also in 1896 when they were the first party to play a leading role in securing women the right to vote. The Republicans of the day worked to pass the Thirteenth Amendment, which outlawed slavery, the Fourteenth, which guaranteed equal protection under the laws, and the Fifteenth, which helped secure voting rights for African-Americans.* They've done some awesome things. And I'm also a big fan of Barry Goldwater.

Republicans want smaller government, and I'm all for that, really I am. But NEITHER party has given us smaller government. And the republicans are the ones responsible for the collapse of our financial system. They were the ones who de-regulated the banking industry. Bill Clinton may have signed it, but the republicans were in charge in Congress.

But anyway, back to being surrounded by them at work. Today, while reading my weekly dose of Dan Savage, I discovered that Pepsi has donated $500,000 to Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Guess what we serve at work! You guessed it, PEPSI!

It makes me so happy to know that money made by people who are violently against gay rights goes to PFLAG.

It makes me sad to see what the Republican party has become. They used to fight for the rights of individuals, but now they fight against them.

*From RNC.org

Where, oh WHERE, is the fucking leadership????

2008-09-30T10:40:00.002-05:00

From Daily Kos:

Now We Need Leadership
by Hunter
Tue Sep 30, 2008 at 07:00:05 AM PDT
Now that the first vote on the Paulson plan has failed, and barring alien invasion or other game-changer of planetary scope, it seems one of the following things will happen. We'll assume from the outset that neither Bush nor the Republican leadership has control of their own caucus, and it seems a demonstrable fact that McCain does not. That leaves:

1. A Paulson Plan, But Miniaturized. It may be that a lot more people will sign off on a $200 billion dollar bailout than would sign onto a $700 billion dollar one. I'm not convinced that would actually work, however, and I'm presuming Paulson has been saying that too. The whole premise of the Paulson Plan is to ride in with so much freakin' money that you can stabilize the entire mortgage-related marketplace: shock and awe for the financial sector. If you have much less money, it doesn't follow that you'd stabilize squat. It might just create an initial rush, benefiting few, followed by the same systemic collapse when the initial money ran out.

I'm not one who's been fond of the Paulson plan, and it's not because I don't understand or respect the (rather audacious) logic behind it: I just suspect it to be so obviously prone to corruption and corporate abuse as to be unworkable. There are some fixes that could be made, but likely the "easiest" shift would be for the House to simply cut the plan by two-thirds and declare their task done, saying they're revisit it later. It'd be dumb and insincere and quite possibly futile or even harmful in practice, and absolutely none of those things would stop it from being considered.

2. Paulson Plan With Conservative Shift. The House can attempt to pass the bill by loading it up with things that the conservatives want, hoping to persuade them. This seems unlikely to work: if the Republicans really are against any bailout based on their (cough) conservative principles, that would seem a non-starter. And any substantive concession to them seems impossible, or at least deeply stupid: proposals like "suspend the capital gains tax" paint the conservatives as more interested in privateering for the rich than actually helping solve the situation. We're not seeing class riots yet, but if the primary result of this Wall Street meltdown was that Wall Street got out of paying their taxes, I think the pitchfork and torch industries would see a banner Christmas.

So that seems a blind alley. The hardcore conservatives can't bring themselves to vote for anything that smacks of "socialism", which pretty much would kill any possible useful approach. And their own proposals are asinine money grabs that would do nothing to solve the problem -- the Democrats would deserve whatever scorn the public dished out on them, if they went along with anything even approaching their "solutions."

3. Paulson Plan With Leftward Shift. The House can attempt to pass the Paulson bailout plan by "owning" it, including strong measures to help homeowners and the general public, and telling the Republicans to get bent. (You know, like many of us were urging them to do, to little substantive effect.) That'll lose them most Republican support, but the premise would be that it would gain them more Democrats. The House could fundamentally alter the rules of the bailout in order to much more forcefully demand taxpayers be treated as investors in the companies benefiting from the plan: something akin to the 1992 Swedish plan.

This would have the benefit of, you know, actually working. Or at least being more likely to, since it is a more tested solution, and would by design discourage abuse of the program. Including at least some economic stimulus would help boost the economy such that, in theory, less intervention would be needed. Getting rid of "help" for financially sound companies would make things more palatable. Instituting a minor market transaction tax seems an absolute no-brainer, and should have been done long before now. Executive compensation caps? Meh. Compared to other far more vital structural requirements, it pales in immediate importance. The bailout plan that failed was weak-kneed in the compromise areas, and even then didn't get GOP support, which means the GOP support was never gettable in the first place.

As far as actually demanding taxpayer equity in the afflicted companies, yes: some Republicans would indeed scream "nationalization," primarily because they are dunderheads. But if your financial sector manages to collapse into a black hole of incompetence, book-cooking or generally irrational behavior, and furthermore manages to foul things up so badly that it is threatening to take the entire world economy with it, a short-term nationalization or whatever-you-want-to-call-it of collapsed companies hardly seems a surprising or outrageous intervention. It's happened before, it'll happen again. The CEO's in question should instead thank heavens that this is the new millennium, and modern governments have no plan to place their severed heads on pikes as a warning to others. Viva progress!

The common assumption, however, is that Bush would veto any plan that either provided substantial economic stimulus or taxpayer equity. Quite possibly -- though that'd be one hell of a gutsy veto, with the entire economy on the line. Certainly, if he vetoed it the Republicans would make sure the veto stuck, depression or no depression.

4) A New Damn Plan. The Congress can abandon the Paulson bailout plan entirely, and craft something different -- radically different. A bottom-up economic stimulus plan coupled with some short-term liquidity boosts; a radical plan for failing financial companies; buying every American a puppy. Who knows.

What's frustrating about this entire process is that it has been absolutely devoid of leadership. Bush is nothing but a paper doll standing in the background; nobody honestly expects he even understands the problem, much less has any confidence that he can rustle support for a workable plan. He has zero credibility left, even with his own party. Likewise, McCain has been, shall we say, unhelpful -- jumping to and from positions like an over-caffeinated child who's gotten into the coffee-flavored ice cream. He's shown no leadership, only campaign bluster. The Republican leadership itself is clearly not in control of their own caucus -- ironic indeed, given how often they have held their caucus in complete lockstep for years for even the most trivial and ridiculous of votes, only to have it fall apart now, when the economy of the nation is on the line.

And Democrats? Well, the Democrats haven't displayed anything resembling leadership either. They accepted the Paulson plan at face value, content to use it as the base upon which they could attach minor changes. There has been no substantive discussion of other possible plans. There has been no attempt to come up with a "Democratic" solution. No economists have been queried in order to find out what an alternate plan might even look like.

That is a failure of leadership -- and in a financial crisis, no less. Bush, the Republicans, the Democrats -- in all of Washington, there seems not one damn group worthy of confidence. Paulson deserves some credit for even coming up with a plan for people to shoot arrows into, given that it's a hell of a lot more than anyone else in power has done.

This is the same failure to lead that has marked this entire Congress. Time and time again, the Democrats have been content to let their opponents set the agenda, and have been reduced to constantly reacting to developments instead of controlling them. It is a dysfunction that seems in no hurry to self-correct; heaven help us, dealing with a financial crisis at a time when there seems nobody in the entire government up to the task.

This leads, alarmingly, to the fifth possibility for what's next:

5) We Do Nothing. This seems the most likely of all the scenarios, and would be the most damaging one. As in, very, very bad. The financial sector does need an intervention: the only question is how it should be done. Given that a large segment of the Republican congress has absolutely no interest in such an intervention, it falls to everyone else to come up with one -- and it's not clear that, given the divisions, anything has the votes to pass.

That's the key difficulty, here. I do not consider this first failure of the Paulson plan to be cause for alarm -- far from it, it was a crappy bill, even with the "compromises" installed -- but the dynamics surrounding the defeat may very well be alarming, because our capability for doing anything substantive has now run headlong into the functional and ideological divide that has paralyzed the Bush economy since Bush first seized control of it.

Let's take the Republicans at their word, and presume they're not going to vote for any "bailout", nor any "nationalization", or "socialism", or anything else that would inject government into the crisis in a significant way. Well, that's a problem, because without government intervention we're all but assured the crisis is going to get much, much worse. Their ideas? Tax cuts. More tax cuts. That's pretty much all they're interested in.

The Democrats can attempt something without them, but a plan of their own making may very well run into the immobile object that is the Bush administration -- an ideological hole so deep that nothing the slightest bit functional or non-reactionary can escape from it.

And Bush himself? Good God. I can't imagine a worse time for The Worst President In History to be in office. You can practically hear the markets collapsing every time he speaks, at this point.

The precipitous drop of the markets, in the wake of the unexpected failure of this first vote, will certainly light a fire under all parties. What's not clear, though, is that there's any middle ground that can be reached, if the Republicans really are that determined to foil any government intervention.

In short, every truly useful option seems impossible, and every expected source of leadership has come up painfully dry. We may be completely screwed -- at least until January. And that is much, much too long.

Somebody, ANYBODY, grow a fucking spine and come up with a solution that works!

Fuck politics, lets talk about family!

2008-09-25T21:05:00.007-05:00

and not the bat-shit crazy fundamentalist side of the family, either!

My family, the most beautiful family in the world (but I may be a bit biased about that).

my favorite

daddy's silly!

headed toward the playground

swings!

damn twitter, I think he's addicted.

snack time! playing is hard work, you know.

it's takes both to hold that tree up

our photographer, Ryan M. (picture by Matthew)

I have almost 200 pictures! That should keep the grandparents happy for a few months I hope. We will eventually get them all uploaded to the family site, I'm sure.

MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

2008-09-23T15:39:00.002-05:00

I love it when hate is ridiculed!

The pirates of Little Rock stole Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church's thunder last Friday. The Topeka church was protesting the National Conference of Editorial Writers because they are "responsible for the satanic milieu in this evil land" and for assisting the "satanic agendas" of "baby-killers and fags."

But in a fortuitous twist, the protest happened to fall on International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Swashbuckling Flying Spaghetti Monster worshipping Central Arkansas Pastafarians decided to join the counter protest in full pirate gear.

The Arkansas Times gave this account:

Yep, the cuckoo Phelps hate group walked the plank this morning after a happy bunch dressed like pirates and holding signs saying "God hates shrimp -- Leviticus" and "God hates cotton-polyester blends" stood opposite them at the corner of Markham and Scott streets. The group, made up of Central Arkansas Pastafarians, waved swords and growled "Arrghh!" in a manner that would have made Abbie Hoffman proud.

"They didn't know what to do," a pirate named Boatswain (aka Gerry Schulze) tells The Pitch. "We decided that the best way to handle them was ridicule. They had not earned our hatred, only our ridicule and perhaps our contempt."

"I had a blast that day," says Pasta Pontius Pirate (aka LeeWood Thomas).

Pirate 1, Phelps family 0.

YES!

The hypocracy of the Church(es)

2008-09-23T09:41:00.003-05:00

If you belong to a church that doesn't allow women to be pastors, think about this.

From Debra Haffner:

I wrote last year about being in the audience at Renaissance Weekend and hearing Rev. Richard Land, the head of the Southern Baptist Convention, talk about why women can't be ministers. Although there were women ministers on the panel with him, he without any hesitation or even apology, said in no uncertain terms that he would never support women as senior clergy nor did he think rites performed by women could be considered valid. To say I was offended is an understatement.

At least according to an interview in Christianity Today, he has no such hesitation about a woman as Vice President, reporting indeed that he had recommended Sarah Palin as a candidate.

But, let's not think that this means that the Southern Baptists think that women can lead churches. According to a report by Religious News Service, the current issue of Gospel Today is being kept off the shelves at the SBC's Lifeway Christian Bookstores. Why? Because there are five women ministers on the cover. Read more at:

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/female-vp-okay-female-pastors-magazine-not-okay

So, what am I not getting? Apparently Mr. Land has said that the Bible only speaks out against women ministers not women Vice Presidents. But, I'm not sure what verses he could be referring to. Of course, there are those very few verses in Ephesians that say that women must be submissive to their husbands, and by inference, that no man should be submissive to a woman. But, correct me if I am wrong, I don't think there is any verse that says we can't be pastors. And then there are those Genesis and Galatian texts that say that we are all equally created in God's image.

So, a few questions are in order here. If Ms. Palin wins, might the Southern Baptists finally change their minds on women senior ministers? Or do they know if Ms. Palin has her husband's permission to run for office? And what happens if she becomes the Commander in Chief of all of the armed services, and all those military men have to report to her?

Can you really support a woman for the second highest office in the land and yet not want another woman to baptize, marry, or bury you?

I don't get it.

I don't either.

This is your Nation on White Priviledge...

2008-09-22T18:52:00.002-05:00

Thanks, Stacey, for the link.

For those who still can’t grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because “every family has challenges,” even as black and Latino families with similar “challenges” are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a “fuckin’ redneck,” like Bristol Palin’s boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll “kick their fuckin' ass,” and talk about how you like to “shoot shit” for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend five different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don’t all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you’re “untested.”

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words “under God” in the pledge of allegiance because “if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it’s good enough for me,” and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the “under God” part wasn’t added until the 1950s--while if you're black and believe in reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school, requires it), you are a dangerous and mushy liberal who isn't fit to safeguard American institutions.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto is “Alaska first,” and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she’s being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you’re being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college and the fact that she lives close to Russia--you’re somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don’t even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because suddenly your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a “second look.”

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn’t support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is when you can take nearly twenty-four hours to get to a hospital after beginning to leak amniotic fluid, and still be viewed as a great mom whose commitment to her children is unquestionable, and whose "next door neighbor" qualities make her ready to be VP, while if you're a black candidate for president and you let your children be interviewed for a few seconds on TV, you're irresponsibly exploiting them.

White privilege is being able to give a 36 minute speech in which you talk about lipstick and make fun of your opponent, while laying out no substantive policy positions on any issue at all, and still manage to be considered a legitimate candidate, while a black person who gives an hour speech the week before, in which he lays out specific policy proposals on several issues, is still criticized for being too vague about what he would do if elected.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God’s punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you’re just a good church-going Christian, but if you’re black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you’re an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a “trick question,” while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O’Reilly means you’re dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to go to a prestigious prep school, then to Yale and then Harvard Business school, and yet, still be seen as just an average guy (George W. Bush) while being black, going to a prestigious prep school, then Occidental College, then Columbia, and then to Harvard Law, makes you "uppity," and a snob who probably looks down on regular folks.

White privilege is being able to graduate near the bottom of your college class (McCain), or graduate with a C average from Yale (W.) and that's OK, and you're cut out to be president, but if you're black and you graduate near the top of your class from Harvard Law, you can't be trusted to make good decisions in office.

White privilege is being able to dump your first wife after she's disfigured in a car crash so you can take up with a multi-millionaire beauty queen (who you go on to call the c-word in public) and still be thought of as a man of strong family values, while if you're black and married for nearly twenty years to the same woman, your family is viewed as un-American and your gestures of affection for each other are called "terrorist fist bumps."

White privilege is when you can develop a pain-killer addiction, having obtained your drug of choice illegally like Cindy McCain, go on to beat that addiction, and everyone praises you for being so strong, while being a black guy who smoked pot a few times in college and never became an addict means people will wonder if perhaps you still get high, and even ask whether or not you ever sold drugs.

White privilege is being able to sing a song about bombing Iran and still be viewed as a sober and rational statesman, with the maturity to be president, while being black and suggesting that the U.S. should speak with other nations, even when we have disagreements with them, makes you "dangerously naive and immature."

White privilege is being able to say that you hate "gooks" and "will always hate them," and yet, you aren't a racist because, ya know, you were a POW so you're entitled to your hatred, while being black and insisting that black anger about racism is understandable, given the history of your country, makes you a dangerous bigot.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism and an absent father is apparently among the "lesser adversities" faced by other politicians, as Sarah Palin explained in her convention speech.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because a lot of white voters aren’t sure about that whole “change” thing. Ya know, it’s just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

on the economy...

2008-09-21T09:30:00.002-05:00

I like Mark Cuban's view:

Dear Sen. McCain,
I admire your desire to cut taxes, and to eliminate the pork barrel spending that costs all Americans our hard earned money.I like your Maverick spirit.

However, after the events on Wall Street this past week, my hope is that you will completely retract your economic strategy and do the prudent thing, which is to say that your strategy of tax cuts is no longer viable when the government is about to take on what could be anywhere between 500Billion and 1 Trillion dollars in debt to support retaining liquidity in our financial system and in turn keep our economy running smoothly.

Dear Sen. Obama,

I respect your desire to reduce the tax burden on the middle class, and in fact give them a tax cut, while increasing the tax burden on those earning more than 250k annually. I understand that your goal was to have the wealthy pay for the tax cuts of the many. Speaking for exclusively for myself, I was willing to accept the tax increase and examine your candidacy based on other issues.

However, after the events on Wall Street this past week, I have to take a new look at your economic strategy. The trillion plus dollars of market valuation that have been lost in the stock market has come from primarily those you would like to increase taxes for. The reality of the market was that it has given greatly to the wealthy over the past 8 years, in the span of a few weeks, it taketh away .

I know many people who have lost much if not all of their networth, and during my trip to NY this past week, met several who have been completely wiped out. Their entire life savings, gone because they owned stock in the several financial institutions that have gone bankrupt or sold at pennies on the dollar and their jobs were lost as a result as well. My hope is that you will completely retract your economic strategy and do the prudent thing, which is to say that your strategy of tax cuts for the middle range of earners, and tax increases for those earning 250k is no longer viable when the government is about to take on what could be anywhere between 500Billion and 1 Trillion dollars in debt to support retaining liquidity in our financial system and in turn keep our economy running smoothly.

Senators McCain and Obama, failure to recognize that what the financial markets went through changed the fabric of our economic model and in turn the impact of your economic policy is completely irresponsible.

The prudent thing for each of you to do, and I know neither of you is asking me for this advice, but Im offering it anyways, is to say the following:

“Based on the series of events on Wall Street this past week, I am withdrawing my economic proposals. Once the market settles down, I will meet with Secretary Paulsen, who has down a phenomenal job in handling this crisis, and gain a better understanding of where the economy is and where it can go from here. Based on that information, I will present to the American people my new economic strategy.

In the meantime, because the economic future of this country depends on the funding of the plan Secretary Paulsen has proposed, I will set aside my campaigning and work with my colleagues in the Senate and across my party to quickly get this bill passed. The future of our economy depends on it”

That is what my candidate will hopefully do.

And one last thing I have to mention. Does everyone realize how much bigger a disaster last week would have been had Social Security been privatized ? Please, let us all remember that when the topic comes up again in the future.

It would be nice if both candidates took this view, wouldn't it? Because it would show that they care more about the country as a whole than just winning an election. I want someone who cares, dammit.

Believe it or not

2008-09-20T17:00:00.003-05:00

but I'm a member of the League of Conservative Voters. Yes, conservative. Me. Who knew!

Anyway, I received this particular video from the LCV (MoveOn.org is just annoying me now). It shows John McCain's record on Big Oil companies. You know,the ones that are charging us almost $4 a gallon for gas. (as always, feel free to ignore the "do something" at the end)

It's quite easy to go look at his voting record, he's been in the Senate for 22 years. Do you really think, with all the money he gets right now from the oil companies, that he's suddenly going to change once he gets into office? Really? Tell me why. Honestly, I want to know why you think he's going to change. Because I don't get it.

For those that don't think women's reproductive rights aren't under attack...

2008-09-19T19:17:00.005-05:00

Blocking Care for Women
By Hillary Rodham Clinton, Democratic senator from New York,
and Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America

LAST month, the Bush administration launched the latest salvo in its eight-year campaign to undermine women's rights and women's health by placing ideology ahead of science: a proposed rule from the Department of Health and Human Services that would govern family planning. It would require that any health care entity that receives federal financing — whether it's a physician in private practice, a hospital or a state government — certify in writing that none of its employees are required to assist in any way with medical services they find objectionable.

Laws that have been on the books for some 30 years already allow doctors to refuse to perform abortions. The new rule would go further, ensuring that all employees and volunteers for health care entities can refuse to aid in providing any treatment they object to, which could include not only abortion and sterilization but also contraception.

Health and Human Services estimates that the rule, which would affect nearly 600,000 hospitals, clinics and other health care providers, would cost $44.5 million a year to administer. Astonishingly, the department does not even address the real cost to patients who might be refused access to these critical services. Women patients, who look to their health care providers as an unbiased source of medical information, might not even know they were being deprived of advice about their options or denied access to care.

The definition of abortion in the proposed rule is left open to interpretation. An earlier draft included a medically inaccurate definition that included commonly prescribed forms of contraception like birth control pills, IUD's and emergency contraception. That language has been removed, but because the current version includes no definition at all, individual health care providers could decide on their own that birth control is the same as abortion.

The rule would also allow providers to refuse to participate in unspecified "other medical procedures" that contradict their religious beliefs or moral convictions. This, too, could be interpreted as a free pass to deny access to contraception.

Many circumstances unrelated to reproductive health could also fall under the umbrella of "other medical procedures." Could physicians object to helping patients whose sexual orientation they find objectionable? Could a receptionist refuse to book an appointment for an H.I.V. test? What about an emergency room doctor who wishes to deny emergency contraception to a rape victim? Or a pharmacist who prefers not to refill a birth control prescription?

The Bush administration argues that the rule is designed to protect a provider's conscience. But where are the protections for patients?

The 30-day comment period on the proposed rule runs until Sept. 25. Everyone who believes that women should have full access to medical care should make their voices heard. Basic, quality care for millions of women is at stake.

*********************
Federal financing includes medicaid and medicare, fyi. So any hospital or doctor that accepts medicaid and medicare patients are included in this.

When the republicans stop trying to take my medical rights away, I may start voting for them. Small government, my ass.

In case it needs to be said: If it's against your personal beliefs to give someone birth control or their HIV medicine, DON'T BECOME A DOCTOR OR A PHARMACIST! It's really that simple. If you're not smart enough to choose a field that doesn't offend your personal morals, that's too damn bad.

ARRRR! Me name be Iron Anne Bonney, and don't ye forget it!

2008-09-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

My pirate name is:

Iron Anne Bonney

A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

are you serious?

2008-09-17T18:55:00.002-05:00

Now there's a big to-do over Sarah Palin's $400 glasses? WHY is this an issue? Hell, those glasses are fucking cheap! I paid over $300 for mine, and I wear contacts 99% of the time. And she wore a $2,500 jacket from Saks in St. Paul. Big fucking deal.

I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE WEARS OR HOW MUCH SHE PAID FOR IT!

Really, I don't! What I care about are her positions on issues that are important to me, like access to birth control, abortion and health care (mental and physical), civil rights, and the economy.

How many times does it need to be said?

WE ARE ONE SUPREME COURT JUSTICE AWAY FROM HAVING ROE Vs. WADE OVERTURNED!

John McCain has reversed his position on availability of abortions to victims of rape and incest, he's now against allowing it. Palin is very much against abortion, also for victims of rape and incest.

Focus on the issues, people. What a candidate wears is NOT an issue!

Craig says it all....

2008-09-12T08:08:00.000-05:00

7 years ago...

2008-09-11T10:10:00.003-05:00

I'll let you look at that day through the eyes of an atheist Muslim...

Seven years ago today, I sat in a cold, windowless classroom, staring at a puddle of tears on my desk. I should have skipped class today, I repeated in my head. Today would have been the best day to skip class. Some of the other kids, boys mostly, were yelling back and forth about how we should just nuke them. We. Them. On an ordinary day, I’d be included in the we. But I was one of them that day, and the 20 pairs of eyes burning holes through my skin reminded me of that more and more with every passing second.
It wouldn’t have done much good to tell them that I wasn’t really a Muslim. I was an agnostic. Or a cultural Muslim. Or an I-dunno-what, but I certainly wasn’t a Muslim. I didn’t know what to say, so I sat there in silence, watching the puddle ripple as it grew bigger and bigger until it finally spilled over the edge of the desk and left dark spots on my jeans. For some reason, that was my breaking point. I grabbed my bag and walked out.

The grad student / teacher came running out in the hall after me and asked if I was OK. I’m not sure what I said to him — incoherent mumbles, I’m sure — but the next thing I knew, he was giving me a hug and apologizing. He said he thought asking the class to share their thoughts and feelings would help them cope. And he was sorry for what it turned into.
*snip*

That day, seven years ago, I walked out to the parking lot and found my tires slashed. All four of them.

Go to her site and read the whole post, and all of the comments.

The best comment, imo, is this one:

We should not be arbitrarily proud of our country because it’s where we happen to live. We should be proud of what our country does when it does the right thing, and criticize it harshly and unceasingly when it does the wrong thing. It really bothers me when people eat up this crap about dissent being unpatriotic. It is truly the only patriotic thing to do when your country fucks up.

I'm ashamed of what the white people in this country do to those that are different, be it in skin color or sexual preference. And I'm pissed off over what religion has done to this country, and to the world. And I'm including Christianity in that mix, for sure.

It's the economy, stupid.

2008-09-10T18:49:00.005-05:00

Unemployment is at an all-time high. Not all of it is Bush's fault, but his failure to put the American People above his rich oil buddies has seriously hurt this country.

What do our two candidates propose? Let's compare, shall we?

McCain:

supports lowering taxes to help small businesses (good, good)
would cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25% (um, why?)
supports giving tax breaks to businesses for investing in equipment and technology (could you be more specific as to what kind of equipment? but good)
wants to establish a permanent tax credit for research and development (huh? sounds ok, but needs more research)

Obama:

supports tax incentives for companies that keep jobs in the US (good, good)
believes that the NAFTA agreement should be renegotiated to the protect the American economy. (I'll go with that, how old is that thing?)
suggests a $75 billion plan for the economy would offer a $500 tax rebate to families and a $250 Social Security supplement to seniors (arrgh! NO! forget the rebate, the supplement sounds good, our seniors on fixed incomes need all the help they can get)
would put more money into unemployment insurance (sounds good, but how?)
would give federal money to states hardest hit by the housing crisis. (good)
would stop mortgage fraud and predatory lending with legislation that he proposed two years ago (GOOD!)

Okay, so both have their pros and cons, but overall, not bad, right?

WRONG!

Just weeks before the government's fiscal year ends Sept. 30, the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office on Tuesday projected a near-record federal budget deficit of $407 billion, sharply higher than White House projections six weeks ago and more than double last year's figure.
Mammoth federal-budget deficits feed inflation, make America dependent on foreign lenders, cost taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars in interest payments on the growing national debt and drain capital savings from more productive investments.
The widening gap between what the government spends and the revenue it brings in is sure to weigh on the next president and impede his efforts to spend on new or larger programs or to cut taxes.
Yet John McCain and Barack Obama show few signs that they're ready to take tough steps to curb deficits, according to budget analysts.
"I don't think either candidate is treating the deficit, or the debt, seriously. And I don't see any proposals from either one that would make the situation any better," said Robert Bixby, the executive director of the Concord Coalition, a bipartisan budget-watchdog organization.
Maya MacGuineas, the president of the bipartisan Center for a Responsible Federal Budget, said in a statement that both candidates "are promising hundreds of billions more in spending and tax cuts than they are paying for."
Republican nominee McCain has promised to balance the budget by 2013, but most analysts consider that goal elusive unless lawmakers make radical changes in Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid funding. McCain has made no such dramatic proposals.
Obama issued a statement Tuesday on the new data, promising that he'd "bring real change by cutting taxes for middle-class families and small businesses, paying for all his proposals to reduce the deficit" and working toward fiscal responsibility. He'd let tax cuts for the wealthiest earners expire and would impose higher taxes on certain corporations.
However, the Brookings Institution-Urban Institute Tax Policy Center has found that Obama's tax-reduction plan would increase the national debt by $3.5 trillion by 2018. McCain wants to leave existing tax cuts in place rather than let them expire, which the center said would add $5 trillion to the debt.
The CBO also offered a dismal forecast Tuesday, projecting a record deficit of $438 billion in the coming year due to the slowing economy, which would reduce tax receipts to the Treasury.
*snip*

White House Press Secretary Dana Perino said that one big reason the deficit went up was the stimulus that President Bush signed into law in February. The CBO said that another large part of the deficit's unexpected growth came from rising unemployment-benefit payments and higher spending to cover insured deposits in insolvent financial institutions.

Another boost to the deficit came from Congress and Bush's appetite for discretionary spending, which is expected to rise by $85 billion, or 8.1 percent, in the current fiscal year, mostly because of higher defense costs.
The CBO projected that economic growth would slow to a 1.5 percent annual rate this calendar year and 1.1 percent next year. Even if the tax cuts of 2001 and 2003 expire as scheduled on Jan. 1, 2011, the deficit would be $325 billion the following year.
To bridge the gap between spending and tax revenues, the federal government borrows, increasing the national debt. It's grown from $5.7 trillion in 2000 to almost $9.7 trillion on Tuesday.
Analyst Bixby doubted that either presidential candidate's proposals would make a serious dent in the deficit and debt.
"Even if both of them can pay for their new initiatives and not make the situation any worse, the situation is unsustainable," he said. "Simply treading water is not good enough if you are headed over the falls."

FUCK! And who says we're not in a recession?!

*goes off to look for a job to help the family budget*

Daily political rant....

2008-09-09T11:09:00.006-05:00

Actually, I'm just practicing for November's NaBloPoMo...

Anyway, an interesting tidbit on Governor Palin.

Basically, the Governor of Alaska (while Palin was Mayor of Wasilla) signed a law protecting victims of sexual assault from being billed for tests to collect evidence of the crime.

WTF? There has to be a law about this? Why?

Because Wasilla Police Chief Charlie Fannon does not agree with the new legislation, saying the law will require the city and communities to come up with more funds to cover the costs of the forensic exams.

The hell????

Wasilla was charging RAPE VICTIMS the cost of the rape kit? Are you fucking kidding me?

That police chief was Charlie Fannon, Palin's appointee (she fired the previous one when she was elected). One can only assume that she supported Wasilla's policy of billing rape victims for their own rape kits--the kits police and hospitals use to collect evidence after a rape--not only because Fannon was her appointee, but also because this was four years into her tenure as mayor and because, let's be honest: in a town of that size, the mayor doesn't get to plead ignorance of policies or public statements of her own chief of police.

What was Fannon's rationale? He didn't "want to see any more burden put on the taxpayer."

Palin was willing to raise taxes to build a sports complex. Her police chief was unwilling to use public funds to investigate rapes.

Do you see anything wrong with this? Oh, and btw, Palin is against rape victims having access to abortions. So the VICTIM of a CRIME gets to pay for the crime kit, and, if made pregnant, has to carry the child to term, doing untold damage not only physically but mentally. Who pays for all the maternity care?

And this is the woman that would be one heartbeat away from being our leader if McCain wins (who, btw, is 77 years old, and has a 1 in 3 chance of dieing before his term is up.)

Anyway, enough about Palin. On to Obama!

I've already posted John McCains record regarding our troops, let's see what Obama's record shows. You can go to thomas.gov to check and compare the two yourself, if you'd like to be an informed voter.

From They Gave Us A Republic and The Zoo:

Senator Obama has sponsored or co-sponsored 570 bills in the 109th and 110th Congress.

Senator Obama has sponsored or co-sponsored 15 bills that have become LAW since he joined the Senate in 2005.

Senator Obama has also introduced amendments to 50 bills, of which 16 were adopted by the Senate.

His record is in fact quite impressive for a junior Senator from Illinois.

Most of his legislative effort has been in the areas of:

Energy Efficiency and Climate Change (25 bills)
Health care (21 bills) and public health (20 bills)
Consumer protection/labor (14 bills)
The needs of Veterans and the Armed Forces (13 bills)
Congressional Ethics and Accountability (12 bills)
Foreign Policy (10 bills)
Voting and Elections (9 bills)
Education (7 bills)
Hurricane Katrina Relief (6)
The Environment (5 bills)
Homeland Security (4 bills)
Discrimination (4 bills)

That's just what he's done in the US Senate. What did he do while he was a State Rep for Illinois?

Worked across bi-partisan lines, of course.

And what about our veterans and our troops?

13 addressed the Needs of Veterans and the Armed Forces:

Improve Benefits (117)
Suicide prevention (479)
Needs of homeless veterans (1180)
Homes for veterans (1084)
GI Bill enhancement (43)
Military job protection
Dignity in care for wounded vets (713)
Housing assistance for low income veterans (1084)
Military children in public schools (2151)
Military eye injury research and care (1999)
Research physical/mental health needs from Iraq War (1271)
Proper administration of discharge for personality disorder (1817, 1885)
Security of personal data of veterans (3592)

In short, Obama supported our troops while McCain did NOT.

Supporting our troups.

2008-09-08T18:57:00.002-05:00

Providing for our troops is a top priority for me this year. Our military is stretched so very thin right now, and many of our vets are homeless or have committed suicide.

How important is this to the Republicans?

Ask a soldier.

Check out McCain's voting record.

Do you really think he's going sing a different tune after he's been elected? Really?

Our President...

2008-09-06T09:43:00.007-05:00

Every week, I get at least two emails from my Congressional House Member, the Rev. E. Cleaver, II., updating me on the activities of the House and his schedule. He holds 'Coffee with Cleaver' meetings once a month in various parts of our district, and both Keith and I have met him.

Today, this was in my inbox:

As we commemorated the third anniversary of Katrina, Hurricane Gustav reminded us once again just how fragile the reconstruction is in New Orleans. With two more hurricanes coming on the heels of Gustav, I ran across an interesting bit of news that hasn't gotten much attention.

The President said Wednesday that oil from the emergency stockpile would be released.

Here's what he said as part of his visit to the Gulf Coast, "Last night, we got a request from a company doing business here in Louisiana and we met that request."

Now do not get me wrong. I think he should open the reserve. In fact I think he should have done it months ago when a bipartisan request came from Congress to help relieve some of the pain at the pump.

But here is what I found interesting. The request the President was referring to was not the letter from Congress. Rather, he was talking about a request from Citgo Petroleum Corp., which is owned by the Venezuelan state oil company.

"Oil was released from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve and we will continue to do that upon request by companies," The President said.

Bipartisan request from Congress --- ignored.

Request from an oil company operated by Hugo Chavez --- acted upon.

Absolutely...positively...frustrating.

Chavez, people. Chavez. Fuck Congress and the American people.

My new favorite song...

2008-09-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

I don't think she's handling the divorce very well...

I love Pink. (No, Keith and I are NOT getting divorced. HELL NO!) I am getting her haircut, though.

when, people, when?

2008-09-05T08:42:00.005-05:00

When are the sane Christians going to stand up and demand their religion back from the wacked out ultra conservative nut jobs? WHEN?

Right with God? Really? WHICH God would you be talking about? Not everyone believes in your God. In fact, the majority of American Christians DO NOT believe in your version of God.

The majority of Americans believe that abortions should be available to victims of rape and incest. The majority of Americans KNOW that abstinence-only sex-ed is a FAILURE. Most American Christians believe in EVOLUTION! (I always thought it was highly arrogant of humans on earth to tell God how he created us. Seriously. One of the many reasons I didn't do well in an apocalyptic religion.)

If I were a Christian, I'd be pissed off as hell over the way Bush & Co. has USED the ultra-conservative base to forward their crony-ism and self-interests. And they're trying to do it again.

I found it very interesting that several speakers at the RNC this past week attacked Obama on several points, but never offered solutions of their own. And Governor Palin flat out lied during her speech.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

How many teachers do you know that make more than $250,000? Do you and your family make over $250,000? We don't, not by a long shot. Keith actually figured out the other night that he's making the same amount of money now that he was 8 years ago. Our income has not increased in the last 8 years. The price of gas has tripled, and the cost of food is rising fast. Are you making significantly more than you were 8 years ago? How many people do you know that received cost-of-living pay increases?

Sadly, many people will vote for her because they can "relate" to her. HELL-O! You voted in Bush because he seemed like the type of guy you could have a beer with! Look how well THAT'S been...

Vote on the issues, people. You know, the IMPORTANT stuff! *sigh*

edited to add: sorry about the weird photobucket thing, I can't find it to take it out.

politics (because it's that time again...)

2008-08-18T14:08:00.003-05:00

*sigh* Obama might not be my first choice, but so far, he hasn't been THIS hypocritical.

Please ignore the lady they interviewed, she obviously wasn't smart enough to refinance her mortgage before the interest rates became flexible. (Banks are not your friends, people, they want your money!)

Asshole.

And yes, it is hypocritical to tell people to stop whining when you missed the most votes in the Senate out of all the Senators, including several key energy bills. (ignore the plea for money, just watch the video. I'm pissed they won't let me embed it.) Get to work, my ass...

Expecting something different.

2008-08-17T19:58:00.003-05:00

The BBQ yesterday was awesome. Good friends, good food, etc...

But today was really crappy. We always have our bbqs around the kid's birthdays, it helps with scheduling.

Today was Matthew's 5th birthday. (my baby that I just brought home yesterday is 5? wtf?)

We always go down to Grammy's house for a family birthday dinner, since Keith's brother & family are so fucking busy all the time they never have time to come to our house for the party (read: bbq) that we plan. He has 3 jobs and 4 kids, she works, and two of the kids have softball during the summer, I get the busy factor. Really, I do. But I swear, they've come up for one bbq out of the seven that we've had.

So anyway, today we went down to Grammy's house for Matt's birthday dinner. We get there, and she tells us that there's going to be a huge party over at his brother's house (which is 50 yards away, they even share a driveway) celebrating their daughter's softball team (they only lost ONE game all season, and won the championship).

Um, ok. Sure. We get to share our son's birthday with a shit-load of people we don't know. Whatever.

So we go over there, we say hi to the family, my kids are happy: there's a trampoline and a play set with swings and a slide.

Then everyone starts showing up for the party. Twenty or so 9-year old girls and their families. Some of who Keith actually knows, since he grew up down there.

I swear to the IPU only ONE of them even bothered to say hello to Keith. NO ONE said ANYTHING to me, not a Hi, not a Hello, not a Who are you? not a welcome to our party, we're so proud of our girls!

We drove a fucking HOUR to go to a party where NO ONE would talk to us! Needless to say, Keith and I were both really pissed, and left before they even finished cooking the hot dogs. I made sure I told my mother-in-law WHY we were leaving, too.

We went expecting what usually happens: cake, a few presents, singing, and family. She didn't even get Matthew a CARD for his birthday!

WHAT THE HELL????

I understand that winning the softball championship is a big deal, and those girls deserved a party. But why the hell would she think we would prefer that over celebrating our son's birthday? She should have called us and let us know at the very least. We could have gone down earlier and had a small family thing before their big party, or had Matt's dinner on a different day.

We spent maybe an hour and a half in Knob Noster before packing up the kids and driving the HOUR home.

The drive home was spent trying to figure out why people, especially family members, seem to not really give a damn about us anymore. They have their own little world, and no desire to expand it to include even their own family.

And then there was the issue yesterday of my adopted mom being in a snit because she didn't receive either of the invites I sent her for the bbq, and since I didn't tell her, it didn't matter that other people told her, she wasn't coming. Just another slice of pain to add to the rest that my blood/related family gives me. Thanks. (For the record, this didn't bother me yesterday, but after the shit day we had today, it fucking hurts.)

Why is it that it's your family, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, totally ignore you if you're not who/what they want you to be?

For the record, we took the kids to Pizza Shoppe for dinner, had leftover birthday cake when we got home, and Josie didn't have ANY accidents today! (She didn't poop, either, but at this point, I don't care!)

I'll post about the awesome part of the weekend later, after I get all this other crap out of my system.

Potty training cont.....

2008-08-15T10:03:00.002-05:00

It appears that Wednesday was just a bad day for going potty in our house. Keith came home and there was a re-set, and she's been doing great ever since. Thank the IPU!

I've received a lot of tips and suggestions, and I thank everyone. I'm the one that needed to recharge a bit after all the buttons the kids had been pushing since last Thursday.

Damn kids.

at wit's end...

2008-08-13T15:49:00.003-05:00

The potty-training is not going well.

Well, it went just fine. We prescribe to the Three Day method, because there's usually only two days of hell a parent has to go through before the child 'gets' it.

Josie 'got' it. She's been doing great since Sunday afternoon. Night time is hard, as is pooping. Yesterday I think she only had two accidents all day long. But two accidents a day is easy to deal with.

Today, on the other hand, she's only made it to the bathroom twice. She just stands there looking at me while she pees on the floor. She just doesn't seem to care today.

Positive reinforcement isn't working. Negative reinforcement isn't working. She's clearly old enough to do this on her own, seeing as how she's done it already.

We can't afford diapers anymore. At all. Seeing as how we used all of our on-hand money to pay for our new a/c unit, I'm really not sure how we're going to manage Matt's pre-school tuition. There is no way we have money for diapers or pull-ups.

I don't have a carpet cleaner to clean up all the messes she keeps making, so that's not really an option either.

I need a drink.

The Haircut

2008-08-12T09:39:00.006-05:00

So apparently Matthew got tired of waiting for me to cut Josie's hair (and his own) and decided to take matters into his own hands.

This earned him loss of watching TV and playing his (age-appropriate) computer games for the rest of Thursday and all of Friday. Thursday afternoon, I did damage control.
I managed to keep the front long (this is important for later), but made the back all spiky. It's actually cute.

See how long the top and front are?

Friday morning, I came downstairs to the kitchen, and he had a guilty look on his face and both hands behind his back (not before I saw a pair of scissors, though). Turns out he had TWO pair of scissors (one in each hand). I spanked his butt all the way to the bottom of the stairs. He went to his room.

THEN I realized he'd cut his sister's hair, AGAIN. I went upstairs, spanked him again, and took every toy out of his room, including his trains.

This time he cut into the top.

So he was grounded to his room (with NO toys except crayons, coloring books, and books to read until Saturday dinner time. What does he do on Saturday? He colors all over his bedroom walls with the crayons. So those were taken away too, leaving him with books he can't read.

This is what the back looks like without any product in it. Not to bad at all.
*sigh*

It's a good thing it's just hair and she's pretty damn cute no matter what her brother manages to do to her!

And she's now potty-trained! We're still working on pooping in the toilet, but she's got the potty part down! YAY! No more diapers! Which is good, cause we really can't afford them anymore.

ugh

2008-08-11T09:23:00.001-05:00

I have several things I want to post about, but we potty-trained Josie over the weekend and had ZERO time for anything other than following her around waiting for her to urinate.

Hopefully, we'll get the pictures of her hair off the camera soon so I can post them.

CHILDREN!

2008-08-07T15:37:00.002-05:00

I do not like my son right now. He cut his sister's hair. Not in the front, so I could fix it and pretend like bangs were want I wanted to do with her hair, but in the back, where it's supposed to be longer.

It's like an inch long. Sticks straight up.

I'm in the process of setting up our annual family pictures, too. fanfuckingtastic timing. I'd laugh, but I'm really pissed, mostly because now there's hair EVERYWHERE in my bedroom.

I know who I'm voting for!

2008-08-05T18:09:00.001-05:00

Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Adfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See you at the debates, bitches! (excuse me while I try to figure out where my apathy for all things PH is.)

I'm very angry...

2008-07-29T10:36:00.003-05:00

I'm angry about a lot of things this week, but mostly about what has happened to my beautiful friend P.

A few years ago, she found the love of her life, B, the one that completed her. Over the last year, B has had several medical issues, but he was finally better, back working the job that he loved. Shortly after he started getting better, P's ex-husband, the father of her child, committed suicide. This was not a surprise to anyone, sadly. B held P and helped her get through this horrible time.

They were getting a house and going to move in together in the next few months. They were planning their wedding for January.

Sunday, P found B, dead. It was a suicide.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT TO SOMEONE WHEN YOU'VE PERSONALLY SEEN HOW IT AFFECT THEM??????

I know this a rhetorical question, and there are no answers. Right now my beautiful friend is still numb, and on one level she knows this wasn't personal, but on another level, there is no room for rationality. Both of the only men she's ever loved in her life has decided that death is better than living.

Not to mention what this has done to his children, and her child (who has now lost TWO fathers to suicide, in the same year!)

If B wasn't already dead, I'd kill him myself for what he's done to his family.

/end rant

There are no words

2008-07-28T10:42:00.003-05:00

There are no words I can say that will bring you comfort, my friend, and I'm 160 miles away, so I cannot hold you the way I want to. Not yet. Soon.

Soon I will drive the 3 hours between us to hold your hand as we say goodbye to your love for the final time. Soon I will hold you as you scream about the unfairness of life you are left with. I will cry for you, as I cry for you now. We will cry together for another life precious to you has left, in such an ugly way.

Come January, when you should have been celebrating your wedding with your love, I will be there as the memories of what should have been take over and try to crush you. I will hold you, and help you stay strong.

You are stronger than you thought, and stronger than one person should ever have to be. My heart aches for you, truly it does.

I'll be there soon. Not as soon as I'd like (you know, in three hours), but soon enough.

My daughter, the warrior princess

2008-07-27T09:43:00.004-05:00

Those of you that follow me on twitter know that my little princess, Josie, got into my makeup the other day and smeared lipstick all over her self. Of course, I have to share!

Aren't children fun?!

snerk

2008-07-18T20:10:00.000-05:00

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

sigh

2008-07-17T16:50:00.002-05:00

It's only birth control for women, it's not like they think the pill causes abortions or anything. Right?

This is how important this subject is to McCain:

Personally, I don't see why the left haven't gotten the pharmaceutical companies on their side for this issue. Money talks, and the pharma's will lose a lot of money if they take away oral contraceptives.

using your emotions against you

2008-07-09T11:58:00.002-05:00

Go read this story. Right now. Go. Read.

Kinda cool, huh?

NOW you can watch this video. (sorry about the song choice)

If that doesn't make you go awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, then I don't know what will.

from my (myspace) inbox

2008-07-07T08:00:00.003-05:00

For your entertainment!

From Rafa, a 20 year old male:
hey hottie how r u doin just want to say hi and love to be ur friend
man ur so hotttttt lookin

my reply (after I stop laughing):
Are you serious? Does this approach actually work for you? I find it very rude and lazy.

Learn some manners and how to spell properly. At the very least, pay attention to your audience. Women in their 30's are VERY different than girls your age.

Grow up.

Rafa:
oh ok how different r u? i really want to know and u can teach me manners love to be ur student

He replied back? Now I'm laughing so hard, tears are streaming down my face. I know I shouldn't feed the troll, but damn!

My response:
No. I will NOT be your teacher. You've already demonstrated that you cannot follow directions.

Learn. To. Spell.

Does he learn anything? Like how to spell the word 'you'? Heck no!

Rafa:
omg lol just wanted to talk lol if u didn't want to u could have said no u don't have to find fault when u can't correct it

I hate stupid bois. But they're very entertaining!

The lesson here? Don't post pictures, even clothed, of new boobs in a folder anyone can look at. They're all now only viewable by friends. It brings out the crazies!

sigh

2008-07-06T17:03:00.003-05:00

I did it, finally.

I know, I know, I'm WAY behind the times. And Fate, you can stop laughing now.

Dammit. I said I wasn't going to join, but I did. Sue me.

You can find me on twitter (yes, twitter) now.

hoochimama, if you really want to know how much my kids are driving me crazy.

gah. I may just shoot myself, really.

Happy Forth of July!

2008-07-04T13:03:00.003-05:00

Hopefully this year won't see us at the Emergency room like two years ago. Or last month.

Be safe, everyone!

Sales PSA

2008-06-30T11:38:00.002-05:00

If you eat meat and have a Price Chopper Shopper card, Price Chopper is having a huge sale on their meat. Brisket is $1.28 / pound, and 80% ground hamburger is $1.69 / pound. I picked up two briskets for our August bbq.

Old Navy is having a HUGE 50% off all their summer stuff. If you like Old Navy, get your ass in there!

Both of these sales go until July 8th.

rudely woken up this morning

2008-06-23T08:16:00.003-05:00

So the kids managed to drag me out of bed a bit before 8 am this morning (they were HUNGRY), and sitting at the table watching them eat their oatmeal, listening to the radio, trying to fall back asleep, I heard the most awful news. I think I'm going to cry.

Pro-life, Anti-woman:

Religion is bullshit:

10 Commandments:

Bye, George.

Cleaver and FISA

2008-06-21T09:32:00.004-05:00

I don't agree, but this is his excuse (sent in his weekly email):

Today cautiously I joined a bipartisan majority in the House of Representatives in support of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Amendments Act of 2008. This was a very difficult vote for me. I have opposed previous measures to reauthorize the legislation but felt this legislation represented the best compromise possible. The legislation was approved by a vote of 293-129 after months of bipartisan negotiations led by my friend and colleague Senator Bond.

Most importantly the bill:

Prevents any President from using executive power to conduct warrantless domestic surveillance and clarifies that to conduct surveillance of a person in the United States, the government must first obtain an individual warrant from the FISA Court based on probable cause.
Requires prior review and approval by the FISA Court of the targeting and minimization procedures to ensure that U.S. citizens are not targeted and that any inadvertently intercepted communications are not disseminated.

The legislation passed today replaces the controversial and hastily prepared Protect America Act and ensures there is no gap in intelligence collection against terrorists, while strengthening our civil liberties by preventing the government from surveilling citizens without a lawful warrant.

Previously I had voted against measures that included blanket immunity to telecom companies who participated in illegal activities at the request of the Administration. This legislation rejects blanket immunity for telecommunications companies and instead allows federal district courts to determine whether substantial evidence supports civil liability protection for companies which assisted in post-9/11 activities. Additionally, the bill does not provide immunity to any government official who may have violated the law.

This is not a perfect solution, but without this compromise there would be no guarantee that the Administration would not continue pursuing wiretaps on citizens without a warrant. I believe this bill makes it clear to the judiciary, law enforcement and private telephone companies that we are a nation of laws and those laws cannot be ignored.

Despite some disappointment, without 60 votes in the Senate this compromise is the best we are going to get. The reality is there are legitimate security reasons for surveillance, and now the independent FISA court is once again solely responsible for reviewing and authorizing domestic wiretaps.

This legislation sunsets at the end of 2012, and it is imperative that we scrutinize its implementation over the next four years, and make any necessary changes.

We'll see. It's not like Bush obeys the law as it stands anyway, you know.

a day in the life of a mom...

2008-06-19T16:28:00.005-05:00

So today started out pretty uneventful. Matt wanted to go to the 'big' pool (ie Grandview's public pool vs the kiddie pool in the driveway) so I told him we would go if it didn't rain. We made it to the pool, but not before a trip to the Emergency Room at what used to be Baptist Medical Center (it's now part of Research).

Why? I'm so glad you asked!

Josie decided it would be fun (I'm guessing, not really sure how a two year old decides things) to put a piece of broken chalk up her right nostril. Much screaming ensued. After I figure out why the hell she's crying and sticking her finger up her nose, I called her pediatrician, but they can't get her in until after 2pm today. It's like 10:30 am, and there is no way in hell I'm waiting that long. So I packed everyone in the car and we head off to the ER. Josie, of course, falls asleep on the way there, so I stop at McDonald's and pick up lunch because I KNOW Matt will start bitching about how hungry he is the moment the car stops. If not before.

So I'm filling out the form, and the kids are eating lunch in the waiting room. Josie is no longer screaming in pain. In fact, she's running around like she's just fine and dandy, and there is no longer any chalky substance coming out of her nose. Being the paranoid mom that I am, I decided to go ahead and have the doctor look at her anyway.

Of course the chalk has managed to desolve by this point. The doctor said there was still a bit of residue and a small scratch, but she was fine. Cost for my peace of mind: $75 co pay.

Thanks to the awesome nurse Monty, the kids had balloons to play with:

He even got Josie to put the heart monitor on her finger, no screaming! I was very impressed. Josie even wore her pretty bracelet for most of the visit.

Stopping to get food was the smartest move I made. Neither kid cried or screamed, and both behaved for the hour we were there. And it was only an hour. It was 11:26am when we checked in, and it was 12:25pm when we got to the car, which was parked right outside the door.

We came home, I updated Keith, packed the swimsuits, sunscreen and towels, and we headed to the pool.

Of course, since I left the sunroof open on the car, it started raining a little after 3pm, so we had to come home.

I'm exhausted.

R.I.P., Cyd.

2008-06-18T09:07:00.001-05:00

Cyd Charisse died yesterday.

Oh, what I would do to be able to move like that. The dress is killer, too.

Best. commercial. EVER!

2008-06-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

a more current pic!

2008-06-16T18:53:00.002-05:00

Finally! someone took a current picture of my awesome husband with something besides a camera phone!

Isn't he HAWT? He's lost over 40 pounds in the last year, too. (no, that's NOT my hair, we were out with friends, I was right there!)

A bittersweet day

2008-06-15T09:38:00.005-05:00

Today is Father's Day. Many are posting about their own fathers, but me, I don't really have a relationship with my dad. I never really have, either, at least not on a friendship level. There's the whole 'religion' issue getting in the way. (It's hard to have a relationship when your dad won't bother to talk to you.)

So I'm going to post some pictures of my most favorite father in the whole world, my awesome husband, because he is the best dad I know.

Matthew was only six month old here:

Happy Father's Day, baby, I love you!

Getting political on your ass

2008-06-13T14:03:00.003-05:00

One of the many things Jehovah's Witnesses (that lovely cult I grew up in) do not do is participate in politics of any kind (supposedly). They are not allowed to vote, except on minor issues like taxes and ordinances (and many don't know they have that option).

Even before I rid myself of every belief they had pounded into me, I had registered to vote, and my first presidential election was 2004. What prompted me to register and vote? Watching an HBO movie called Iron Jawed Angels. I determined that I would not waste what so many had fought for.

One of the many issues I believe passionately about is the availability of safe abortions for women. It's THE deciding factor for me when I make my choice about who to vote for. I feel incredibly lucky to never have been faced with having to make the choice to terminate a pregnancy, but many women don't have such luck. (Don't make me repost this.)

So where does John McCain stand on this issue?

People, we are ONE Supreme Court Justice away from having Roe v. Wade overturned. ONE. If you're a Hillary Clinton supporter who refuses to vote for Barak Obama, you are an idiot. My horse (John Edwards) didn't even make the finals, so quit your bitching.

Ramblings, Rants, and Mommyhood Journal

Tebow-mania/hate.

Stuck. in. the. mud.

California

So...

Dirty little freaks

I will not be silent. I will not vanish.

Wow

To spank or not to spank.

Dancing at the Movies - Music Video

Best Movie Mashup I've ever seen....

in which I carry heavy rocks...

*drool*

hey!

Volunteering...

RIP, Teddy

Damn

Happy birthday Bubba!

No words...

The knife keeps turning

um, Hi!

Nerdgasm!

to my baby girl...

Catching up...

I heart Hillary Clinton

Ten years

The Flood of 2009

The Tango.

The Passover Seder

Fun with Elmo

Happiness is a choice.

site updates

Because Annie's been around longer than Pink

An update on the sick boi...

Scary shit

Mixed feelings, as usual.

Fighting for peace

A few things.

Hate vs the Economy,

Have I mentioned how much I love Pink?

Love!

black people still can't catch a break.

Remember, remember, the 5th of November

Because even ONE death is one to many...

Election Day!

That whole 'Ayers' issue

That pesky "Health" problem.

Gay marriage?

New Address for the Family Site!

Taking back their party.

Less Government, Please!

sigh

fyi...

Two down...

About this 'wurk' thing...

Where, oh WHERE, is the fucking leadership????

Now We Need Leadership

by Hunter

Tue Sep 30, 2008 at 07:00:05 AM PDT

Fuck politics, lets talk about family!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

The hypocracy of the Church(es)

This is your Nation on White Priviledge...

on the economy...

Believe it or not

For those that don't think women's reproductive rights aren't under attack...

ARRRR! Me name be Iron Anne Bonney, and don't ye forget it!

are you serious?

Craig says it all....

7 years ago...

It's the economy, stupid.

Daily political rant....

Supporting our troups.

Our President...

My new favorite song...

when, people, when?

politics (because it's that time again...)

Expecting something different.

Potty training cont.....

at wit's end...

drool

snerk

sigh

sigh